Dancing with the Stars Elimination: How Am I Supposed to Jive Without You?

Dancing with the Stars sent another amateur trotter to the glue factory last night, and girls, it was not sad. The losing dancer was downright surly for how inevitable his/her elimination was, and we caught it all on tape. Or rather, the Internet did. (It's faster than I am.)

Michael Bolton, who scored a season-low total of 12 on Monday night (which is still not worse than Master P's legendary paso doble) earned the boot. That seems only right considering he scored six points behind his nearest competitor. Right? Right.

But wait a minute, we have a detractor. And it's...Michael Bolton.

When Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke asked if Bolty was shocked to lose, he replied, "Yeah," before muttering something about dashing Chelsie Hightower's dreams of a better tomorrow forever. Come on, Michael. I know how tough it can be when a may-yan loves a wuhhhh-man, but you'll have to put love aside and face facts: You biffed big. You crawled out of a dog house like Velma grasping blindly for her glasses, and you didn't have the courtesy to yell, "Jinkies." You lose. There is no mystery in this machine.

Still, we could've used more Bolton on this show. We didn't even get to see a naughty tango set to the incredible single, "Can I Touch You... There"? What the hell is this show for, anyway?