Introducing the Kenny Powers Offense Report: 'I Transcend Race, Hombre'
Everyone's favorite misanthropic sociopath, Kenny Powers, returned to HBO last night for a second season of Eastbound & Down. With a fresh hairdo (the inventive cornrow mullet), knife-wielding sidekicks and an unexplained passion for cockfighting, the former baseball star kicked Mexican ass and took names (literally -- he stole the identity of his trusty assistant Steve) while pitching offensive fastballs at everyone and everything south of the border. If you enjoy politically incorrect slams on Mexicans, children and soccer players -- in fitting context, of course -- as much as Movieline HQ, join us as we examine each week's episode and run down the list of individuals, races, genders, concepts and recreational sports that Kenny Powers targeted last.
Soccer: "Let me get this straight, Katooe. If there is one thing in this life I cannot f***ing stand. It's f***ing soccer. And I hate when people do it around me."
Family: "I don't need to bond with new people down here. I already got a family. I don't need the f***ed-up version of the original."
His Mexican Neighbors: "Even though you are Mexican, you seem normal to me."
Baseball Players: "Nice game, d*** suckers."
Baseball: "Kenny Powers got sick of baseball. He got sick of it butt-f***ing him all the time."
Computers: "I see the look on your faces. You're thinking: 'Hey Kenny, you're from America. You probably have a printer. You could have gone on the Internet and just printed that bitch.' You know what: Yeah, I could have. Except for one fact. I don't own a printer and I f***ing hate computers, of all kinds."
The Singular Kenny Powers Redeeming Moment: After a Mexican who could not pay up after a cock fight called Kenny a "gringo," the retired baseball player began this poignant tirade: "Honestly, I can't even believe that you would look at me and the word 'gringo' would come to mind. Does it make your life easier just to throw a quick racist term at somebody? A man who has seen the things I've seen? Experienced the loss and pain I've experienced? I transcend race, hombre."