Introducing the Bored to Death Hipster Quotient: Scenesters at the S&M Dungeon

He is a mop-topped author who moonlights as a private detective in Brooklyn. He wears thrift store blazers, dates an organic food co-op member, and drinks wine from vintage mugs. He is self referential. Jonathan Ames, the Bored to Death character played by Jason Schwartzman, is a hopeless hipster and with Movieline's new Hipster Quotient, you can see how HBO's niche series measures up within the highly selective subculture's community, one silk-screened t-shirt at a time.

Hipster Meta Moment: Courtesy of a female student in Ames' class (hipster Zoe Kazan), "I want to write a book like Zadie Smith. Something that talks about how hard and weird it is to be alive even if you're middle class and your parents are pretty loving. It also might be about bulimia and anorexia."

Diatribes About the Importance of Imported Beverages: 1, courtesy of Ted Danson's George Christopher on the subject of Orangina.

Dry Literary References: 2. When Ray (Zach Galifianakis) watches one of Jonathan's young, blonde female students walk by, he sighs "Hello, Nabakov." Later, Jonathan suggests that a police officer's bothersome sex addiction is his own Moby Dick.

References About Sexual Confusion: "I just tried on my mom's panties one time when I was sixteen," said Jonathan dryly in the sex dungeon. "It felt fine but I never did it again."

Aversion to Material Possessions: 1. "I got a Kindle but I dropped it in the tub," deadpans George Christopher.

Overly Constructed Persona: When asked what he would like from an aggressive S&M dominatrix (Kristen Johnston), Jonathan calmly asks for a prix fixe option, so he "can sample a lot of things."

Yoga References: 3.

Food co-op mentions: 1.

Hand-knit Scarf Count: 1.

Silk-Screened T-Shirt Count: 2.

OVERALL: Although Jonathan's case last night was not as hipster friendly as usual (destroying a hard drive inside an S&M sex dungeon), any episode that features white, middle-class paranoia like this, deserves some major recognition: "I have no skills for the world," Jonathan worries. "At this rate I might have to move back in with my parents."