3 Unsettling Makeovers on 30 Rock's Season Premiere

No Tom Jones, no! We were subjected to three strange physical transformations on last night's satisfactory 30 Rock premiere, "The Fabian Strategy" -- and one metamorphosis trumped the others in sheer hirsute horror. Season five, here we go.

jackbeard_30rock.jpg1. Kenneth's Bordeaux-red CBS blazer

Though Kenneth quit NBC at the end of last season, he made grisly appearances in Tracy's sad hallucinations last night (including one where a mournful Mr. Jordan mistook a perky new page for Kenneth). But the greatest terror was Kenneth's real-life wardrobe: a deep red blazer he wore as part of his new job at -- shriek it with me -- CBS. Our Georgian sweetheart looks ghastly in that sanguine suit, and we hope he sheds that skin for his navy vestments of yore soon. I can wait a little longer if he continues to make hilarious asides about The Mentalist.

jackbeard_30rock.jpg2. Jenna's GTL complexion

Jenna looked peroxide blonde and positively bronze at the top of the episode, fresh off a summer vacation and the delightful realization that she's contractually bound to be an executive producer on TGS with Tracy Jordan this season (as her pink t-shirt said in glitter: "Business Slut"). But what of this umber-er Jenna -- or should we say, JennaWOWW? I think she looked like Sheryl Crow or Liz Phair when they began to release those scary Top-40 pop singles. I suppose we can anticipate Jenna's rendition of "Soak Up the Sun" soon, perhaps in time for the summer solstice episode.

jackbeard_30rock.jpg3. Jack Donaghy's Terrifying Beard

Jack ditched his frosty new beard five minutes into the episode, but man, what a slow march to Hades those five minutes were. He didn't look like Alec Baldwin -- he looked like one of the "wrong" Baldwins. Or Jimmy Johnson from Survivor. Or a claymation sea lion. Anything but the GIllette-smooth honcho who once knocked Steve Maddens with Condoleezza Rice. Anyway, breathe out: It's gone now. And another season of clean, five-blade wit can commence.


  • Bronson says:

    Anyone else think the whole beard thing was a meta reference to Alec Baldwin's much talked about antics on 'The Edge' set, ala 'What Just Happened?'.

  • Nerd says:

    At least the whole Kenneth thing gave us something to look forward to in future episodes. Im sure he will make it back to NBCU soon enough, and I can't wait to see how they do it. The more shots at CBS the better.