Today in Unfortunate Things: The MTV VMA 'Remembering 9/11' Celebrity Gift Retreat

The MTV Video Music Awards are on Sunday, and you know what that means: celebrity swag suites the day before, woo! Wait. Are you saying that tomorrow is 9/11, the solemn anniversary of the worst terror attack ever committed on American soil? Hmm, how can celebrities feel good about picking up free sunglasses and liposuction gift certificates with that looming over their heads? Here is the terrible, terrible answer.

The following are excerpts from a real press release that made its way into the Movieline inbox this morning:

Just a reminder about the MTV VMA "Remembering 9/11" Celebrity Gift Retreat today and tomorrow in Beverly Hills anytime between 12pm - 5pm.

For each celeb that attends, Platinum Publicity is donating money to the "9/11 Fund".

Expected celebrity guests (partial):

The cast of the Bachelor Pad (most TODAY 12:30pm), (Gia Alleman, Wes, Natalie Getz, Kypton Locke, Tenley, Jesse Kovacs, Krissily, Peyton, Juan etc), Mike "The Situation", J-Woww, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Stephanie Pratt, Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott, Levi Johnston, Rachel Uchitel

Here is where you must come to your own conclusion, Dear Reader. Is it admirable that this celebrity gift retreat is at least giving some sort of undefined donation to a 9/11 fund, and that supercedes the total ickiness of this entire press release?

Or is it totally jarring to see the words "9/11" and "Celebrity Gift Retreat" mashed together, to realize that only celebrities* who can give the gift retreat more press are worthy of a charitable donation that the stars aren't even making themselves, or that Levi Johnston is going to join his estranged sorta in-law Sarah Palin in making a mint off this 9/11 anniversary?

I cede the floor to you.

* And I don't mean to be harsh to this gift retreat's fuzzy definition of "celebrities," because even women only famous for sleeping with Tiger Woods deserve to feel that by picking up elephant tusk nose cream for free, they have somehow saved the ghost of a heroic 9/11 firefighter.


  • Dimo says:

    ATTENTION REV JONES: Don't burn any Korans tomorrow. There is something better in Beverly Hills...and you will have the backing of the entire world!

  • TurdBlossom says:

    Becuase nothing, (nothing!) says 9/11 like the thought of professional fame-whore Audrina Patridge (aka Ceiling Eyes) walking out with as much free crap as she possibly can.

  • bertrand says:

    do we actually care about any blingofestive event happening on solemn anniversary of Hiroshima or Nagasaki ?

  • od says:

    In a newsflash, MTV will also feature hot new celebrity catamite Keiran Falcon, rappers MSG and DOA, as well as Disney's new all-American teen sweetheart streetwalker JoDawn McJenkins who will lip sync their earlier recorded readings of The Book of Revelations while physicists around the world adjust their gags...

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  • Wow, Lady Gaga got 8 VMA awards last night. I am definitely excited for her achievements and I enjoyed that Born This Way song GaGa belted also!

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  • Lynda Tabian says:

    haha...lady gaga wore a dress made out of meat to the vma' peta is complaining!