Hermione Granger Was Right: Twilight Is All About The Sex
As we mentioned the other day, erstwhile witch and current Brown University matriculant Emma Watson was speaking to Brit mag Empire and bubbling on about her forthcoming kiss with Rupert Grint in the last volume of the Harry Potter movies when she gave a backhanded slam to everyone's favorite dishwater dull vamp couple, Bella & Edward. But what did she mean exactly? Let's unpack it.
This kiss between Hermione and Ron is highly anticipated, it's been building up for eight films now. And Harry Potter is not Twilight, you know; we're not selling sex.
Ooh, burn! And also, Confusing! Because aren't Bella and Edward the most famous chaste couple this side of Tom and Katie Holmes? Any tension in their tepid coupling comes from Bella begging Edward to pork her brains out and Edward steadfastly refusing.
But I think I know what Emma means. Just because there's no hot 'n heavy humping on the screen doesn't mean that sex isn't the sole focus.The whole point to the Twilight tetralogy is just what I said before -- Bella wants sex / vampirism, Edward either refuses outright or kicks it down the road. That's it. There's no up and down or further maturation between the characters as with Ron and Hermione -- they're childhood chums! They can't stand each other! They have secret crushes! They finally act on their long-held desires!
There's nothing really like that in the Twilight world. Bella and Edward nominally can't stand each other for about 15 minutes in the first movie and then they devolve into a wet blanket schmoop-a-thon, and the rest of the "saga" just becomes a waiting game of when they're going to have sullen, cow-eyed sex, I guess at some point Taylor Lautner does some sit-ups and Dakota Fanning shows up for a second, but, really that's it. The whole thing comes to a, er, climax once the two consummate their undead union. Twilight is all about sex, but more about the fetishization of the first time and the odd pleasure you get in denying yourself pleasure.
So, be brave up there in Providence, Emma! Keep speaking truth to power and beware any maniacal-eyed tweens or vengeful Twilight moms with puff-paint on their sweatshirts and murder in their eyes.
· Emma Watson: Harry Potter is not Twilight [Empire]