Today in Machete: Lindsay Lohan No-Shows, Racist Poster Remix

machete_torah_scroll_800.jpgIt's the Wednesday before Labor Day, which means we're all in this long late-summer slog together. Bless Fox's heart, they've given us a fairly decent means of whiling away at least a little of that time -- first by setting the megaviolent spectacle Machete for release this Friday, and then by supplementing it with random Lindsay Lohan gossip and vaguely racist posters for film bloggers to play with.

The world seriously can't seem to get enough of Lohan's appearance in the new issue of Vanity Fair, which features a lot more blaming her father for her train-wreckiness and... I'm not sure what else. But there is this as well: Word on the street was that the actress was discouraged from attending this week's Machete premiere because of the distraction it would have caused. Right. I can hear the Fox voicemails now: "Sorry, Lindsay, you are too downmarket and attention-getting for our fair Mexploitation splatter premiere; would you mind sitting this one out? Great job in Vanity Fair, by the way. OK, kisses, sweetie, byeeeee..." Anyway, for the first time in her life, Dina Lohan didn't have any real comment. So now we'll never know.

Annnnnd we're past the manure farm, you can inhale now. Check out what some creative (read: clinically bored) Web types uncorked over at UGO: variations on Machete's ostensible "Mexican-power" theme, underscored in the film by its heroic "sex maniac quick with gardening tools who can brawl and eat a taco at the same time." Racist? I dunno -- white Texans come off a lot worse. But the Photoshop sky is the limit, I can't lie. Collect the whole set here. (And click for bigger.)


· Was Lindsay Lohan disinvited from Machete premiere? [THR]

· Machete Inspires More Action Films Based on Racial Stereotypes [UGO]