Trolls Retaliate After Rogue Critic Ruins Vampires Suck's Precious 0% Approval Rating

RIP film culture, c. 1891 - 2010. It has come to this: Saddened and aggrieved by one critic's approval of the once-unanimously loathed parody flick Vampires Suck, a troll militia has descended with their machetes and asthma inhalers to express its outrage. They are a fearsome, vengeful lot, and admittedly quite amusing once you get past the whole wrong-side-of-history thing. Taste the bile after the jump.

Michael Ordoña of the LA Times, this is your life:

· you f*cking moron, i hope you f*cking die for making this positive. you sh*t for brains idiot faggot neanderthal troglodyte cock juggling thunder c*nt!!!!

· WTF!!! YOU JUST RUINED THE 0% THIS MOVIE DESERVED FROM BOTH T-METER CRITICS (maybe...) AND THE 0% TOP CRITICS DESERVED TO GIVE IT!!! In short, you sir, are a douche bag.

· How much were you paid to give this a positive review? Friedburg and Seltzer are the bane of cinema right now. They deserve a 0% movie at this point.

· way to go a**hole

· Dang, I was hoping Armond White would be the only one to like this.

· Hope this guy gets fired for this review.

· You know what? You're a total dick for writing a good review about this movie which even Stevie Wonder could see that it sucks.

· O.M.G!!!! i can't believe this sh*t! Plus too, he's a top critic...I hope this guy with no brains gets fired. Seriously. Movies now-a-days don't make sense (like this sh*t)

· Are you serious! I made an account to make this one comment to you Michael... I hate you! This movie had 0% it was going perfect... PERFECT! and you come along and f*ck it all up, you f*cking F*CK! You know what Friedberg And Selter do right? They make a parody of whats popular and scam everyone into watching it. I hate you! You should get a new f*cking job. No you know what just drop dead. AGGGGRRHHH!!!!!!!! I Am F*CKING MAD!!!!!

· Well, that was a fun career while it lasted.

Well, indeed! Someone hide Lights Camera Jackson.

· Vampires Suck [Rotten Tomatoes]



Comments

  • Sarah says:

    Well at least no one overreacted.

  • Jamie says:

    Don't you just love how articulate those trolls are.

  • Bob says:

    I'm surprised anyone one of them was smart enough to come up with that Stevie Wonder joke. And the joke's still pretty lame.

  • Mike the Movie Tyke says:

    Nerds. So full of laughably useless rage!

  • Sean C says:

    But people, we are nerds?
    I have to say though, the film does look awful. I mean, one or two gags look mildy humorous, but they undoubtedly have been done somewhere else before.
    What really depresses me is the number of talented folk who star in these god awful films, not realising how utterly terrible they are, or getting roped into doing this film.
    And how positive was this guy's review anyway? Did he call it the new Citizen Kane, or say that it was not as bad as the others, but still bad?

  • antinerd says:

    I blame Comic Con. Once the mainstream media decided it had 'arrived' and was somehow "cool", the parental basement dwelling dweeb brigade, who formally just ranted on the web, now thinks they are no longer the high school social outcasts they've been all their lives and are a "force" to be reckoned with in Hollywood...though "Scott Pilgrim's" utter failure at the Box Office is the latest example of how they are little more than a "loud but tiny" special interest group who don't have to be catered to. Shall we ring off a list of 'Geek Movies Failures/Underperformers" as proof: "Scott Pilgrim", "Fanboys", "Kick Ass", "Serenity", EVERY Kevin Smith movie ever made...the list goes on and on.
    Geek friendly movies can be hits/tentpoles but they MUST have MASS CROSSOVER appeal with the general public (you know, the ones that don't spend all their time making that "perfekt" Star Trek uniform or Star wars wookie outfit) to achieve hit/franchise status. NO ONE outside the Geekerati loser community CARED that "X Men: the Last Stand" didn't adhere to their beloved "comic continuity"....it made almost $250 Million at the BO in North America alone. THAT's the kind of success the studios want, not "geek approval".
    Let the trolls rant away (and I'm guessing these trolls are the subhuman "Twi-Hards" defending their "way of life"), no one outside their small self contained universe it listening.

  • The Central Op says:

    Anitnerd... you obviously don't have a clue as to the diversity among the "so-called" geeks do you? I was also a varsity athlete in high school. Just saying stop with the stereotyping. Did you even see "Scott Pilgrim" or "Kick Ass"? Kevin Smith makes his movies on the cheap so they tend do okay as far as return on investment. Fine if you didn't like "Kick Ass". But do take into account this was a movie with a hard R attached to it as well. And I'll take that over the brainless no story or characters "Transformers 2" any day of the week. "Fanboys" was a small indie flick for the most part. Why not list the number of indie flicks that were box Not always... but then again plenty of major players in Hollywood have flops.
    As far "X Men: the Last Stand"... fanboys and fangirls didn't like the film, not because of "comic continuity" as you so want to insultingly imply, but because it was a CRAPPY MOVIE! Those same people enjoyed Bryan Singer's "X-Men" and "X2: X-Men United".
    Oh and the "Twi-Hards" and "Geeks", generally ain't the same bunch.

  • The Central Op says:

    Repost of reply due to computer glitch when posting....
    Anitnerd... you obviously don't have a clue as to the diversity among the "so-called" geeks do you? I was also a varsity athlete in high school. Just saying stop with the stereotyping. Did you even see "Scott Pilgrim" or "Kick Ass"? Kevin Smith makes his movies on the cheap so they tend do okay as far as return on investment. Fine if you didn't like "Kick Ass". But do take into account this was a movie with a hard R attached to it as well. And I'll take that over the brainless no story or characters "Transformers 2" any day of the week. "Fanboys" was a small indie flick for the most part. Why not list the number of indie flicks that were box office flops. Plenty of good actors and directors in Hollywood have had their flops. You may have even like a film or two that didn't do well at the box office. If huge box office success was the indicator for a good film... "Paul Blart" would have and Oscar instead of "The Hurt Locker".
    As for "X Men: the Last Stand"... fanboys and fangirls didn't like the film, not because of "comic continuity" as you so want to insultingly imply, but because it was a CRAPPY MOVIE! Those same people enjoyed Bryan Singer's "X-Men" and "X2: X-Men United".
    Oh and the "Twi-Hards" and "Geeks", generally ain't the same bunch.

  • daveed says:

    Rotten Tomatoes: Last Refuge of Internetz Dewshbags

  • Trace says:

    ...what about those critics who bumped the metacritic average to 18?

  • To many of us, it was a well thought-out plan: with more money, there comes security; then it would be time to have kids..

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