5 Reasons Why the Final Season of The Hills Was a Total Bust

The final season of The Hills was more disappointing than the last season of The Wire, and MTV wasn't even trying to force a goofy fake serial killer plot down our throats (though come to think of it, this final stroll with Kristin and Brody probably would have been more enjoyable if an imaginary murderer was terrorizing the Hollywood Hills). Instead, MTV assumed the role of the assassin by destroying what used to be a good franchise by making Kristin Cavallari the star and stripping the audience of its collective dignity, one incest joke at a time. On the eve of tonight's series finale, here are the five reasons why the last season of The Hills was a complete letdown.

· The Actual Drama Was Happening Behind the Camera

How much better would The Hills have been if the entire final season had been made up of raw footage from behind the scenes? There could have been an entire two-part episode devoted to Spencer's death threat that resulted in him being booted off the program. Viewers would have gotten to see stories unfold that were unlike anything else on TV, like Heidi's allegation that The Hills' creator sexually harassed her, Brody Jenner's romance with Avril Lavigne, and the dysfunctional relationship between Heidi and her former psychic manager.

· Dangling Storylines

Like Glee's second half of the season, The Hills introduced plots that were almost instantly dropped for other episode-long, consequence-less stories. To wit: Kristin's drug problem, the alleged Allie Lutz robbery, Brody's relationship with McKaela, Audrina's relationship with Ryan Cabrera, and -- oh yeah -- every single story relating to Speidi. Yes, it's well-known why the semi-married couple was forced off the show, but MTV could have at least acknowledged that they were removed rather than just awkwardly transitioning from a Speidi-heavy season to something Speidi-less.

· Kelly Cutrone Belongs to The City Now

Remember back when Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad were still on The Hills and viewers could rely on the girls' People's Revolution boss for sage advice, speedy witticisms and actual (gasp) truth? Well, that moment has passed; this time around, viewers had to depend on Stephanie Pratt for brutal honesty. (See: Stephanie's heartbreaking confession that she does not know what lacrosse is.)

· Transitory, Meaningless Romances

Who cares if Kristin finds a hot island bartender to make Brody jealous, if Brody finds a cute brunette to make Kristin jealous, if Audrina dates a D-list singer, if Audrina flirts with Justin Bobby, or if anyone on this series gets together with anyone if the relationships are obviously not going to last? The answer: no one. It's like producers mixed and matched random cast members this season without going to any length to make the flings seem remotely authentic.

· And Obviously, the Heart of the Series is Gone

Lauren Conrad fled the MTV series, leaving a cast of performers with limited ranges of emotion behind, none of which were worthy of viewers' sympathy. Fortunately, she (and Whitney Port) will return for tonight's reunion special, which follows the series finale.