25 More Insane Qualities Ryan Exhibited on Last Night's Real World

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Turns out that waiting for Jersey Shore's second season is going to be easy: MTV is tiding us over with the best season of The Real World in years. True, most of the fun comes complete with a few dollops of irony and contempt, but that's fine. Last night our non-hero Ryan continued to infuriate home viewing audiences with his eye-poppingly moronic yet exceptionally watchable shenanigans. Did you come up with 25 more of his most hateable traits like I did?

1. Calls himself a virgin. Isn't one.

2. Randomly plays with peoples earlobes if they're "cold"

3. Cuddles with everyone in the house, including gay Preston, who he offended last episode with loud homophobia

4. Says of the one cast member who calls him on his attention-craving antics, "I don't even respect Knight enough as a person to communicate with him anymore"

5. Blow-dries his entire body while laying in bed

6. Blow-dries his entire body while laying in bed

7. His opinions change on a dime, which makes him... our new Kelly Killoren Bensimon! Congrats!

8. Hates hooking up because it's impersonal, but really wants to hook up tonight

9. In fact, let's quote him: "I feel like hooking up tonight. Yes. No. Yes... Yes"

9. Strips off his shirt, runs through the house, and pouts when he "pops" his shoulder

10. Wears a black long-sleeve tee with the word "DOVE" on it

11. Oh, look, his hoodie says "DOVE" too!

12. Can look like Annie Leibovitz from the back

13. When Knight tells him he couldn't have popped his shoulder, Ryan explains: "It's inside! Underneath! Inside!"

14. Comes back with his arm in a sling and refuses to explain his injury before starting a fight with Knight

15. Is out of the sling by the following morning

16. Is the guy who's friends with the DJ who's supposed to get you into Teddy's

17. Claims, "I truly wanted to be Knight's friend." See last entry when he called Knight every derogatory backwoods name he knew

18. Abercrombie face

19. Urban Outfitters soul

20. Is not Jemmye, the greatest person in the house. Aw, vajayjay tattoo

21. My God, now he's in a "DOVE" tanktop. In cerulean

22. Resembles a looking-glass-transformed Danny from the original New Orleans cast. Ugh. That's hallowed ground!

23. After compromising with Knight, makes him "pound it"

24. Forces an unwitting housemate to watch him pull down his pants, just before...

25. ...Rubbing his bare ass on Knight's bed, after they'd just made amends. Tah-dah



Comments

  • stolidog says:

    well, at least he didn't shove knight's toothbrush up his ass....I guess that would have been too gay, while rubbing your bare bottom over his bed is totally normal, straight behavior.

  • Bart says:

    This season is already one of the best from the past 5-6 years. So Ryan's got that going for him! And I already suspect this crazy is the one who made headlines by pissing on a roomie's toothbrush??

  • HwoodHills says:

    Look out, Andrew Garfield-
    (There may be a new Spider-Man contender.)

  • Niki says:

    even though he does so many stupid random things like blow dries everything on his body while laying in bed....he's okay....i would let him do my hair...i'd hang with him...oh wait....yah i'm crazy.....but I love ryan...i guess i'm weird like that...whatever....lol...

  • Dave says:

    No. No no no no no. You did not you did not you did not just use 'insane' as a synonym for 'hateful'. Could you be any more ableist?

  • tom says:

    i don't think i've ever despised a real world cast member as much as i despise this freaky douche-bag. EVER. and i'm including the original douche: puck! there is something seriously F-ed up with this kid, and that also applies to the idiots who find him amusing, charming or entertaining. he should be locked up in solitary confinement and forgotten about.

  • Seems like Ameriie is switching up her style with her new tracknamed Outside Your Body! Amerie's going back to her Korean roots in her song, fusing rhythm and blues with Korean pop. This avant-garde song sounds great on my playlist and I really can't wait for the video to be released.

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