The Hills Reality Check: Last-Minute Heartbreak and Fairytale Biker Romances

Last night's penultimate episode of The Hills was bittersweet for viewers: they were just thirty minutes of screen time away from bidding Lo and Kristin adieu on next week's finale, but first, they had sit through some clunky exposition that would set up next week's series closer. Brody had to break Kristin's heart without any concern for her feelings, Lo had to offer her boyfriend a relationship ultimatum, and Stephanie Pratt had to explain her DUI to another potential suitor that could be "like, the one." Let's sift through the second-to-last episode of The Hills ever (hopefully, unless MTV tries to revive it Beavis and Butt-Head-style in a decade) to find its most real and most fake moments.

REAL: Stephanie Has Met Her Fairytale Biker Prince...at Least Until the End of the Series

Even Midwestern viewers contact-jaded by the luxuries of these Hollywood cast mates acknowledge that it must be hard to be the only cast member not throwing back shots of Patron while enjoying a network-paid vacation to the tropics, or awkward blind dates that force you to admit that you don't know what lacrosse is. Viewers are more protective of Stephanie than the other cast members because they understand that she is a fragile, recovering alcoholic who may be genetically prone to developing toxic relationships with soul-sucking counterparts. (See: Speidi.)

So last night, when Stephanie found herself instantly attracted to a a greasy-haired friend of Brody's in an L.A. bar, the viewers took after Lo, who sat right next to Stephanie throughout this first meeting and burst into raucous laughter. Her, him, together? Soon enough, though, the rest of the club faded away into a blur of black designer clothing and mood lighting. It was just the two of them. Josh walked Stephanie to her car and said that he wanted to see her again. They met a week later, and bonded over their drink orders (she ordered Pepsi, he ordered Sprite) and cemented what could be the most real relationship in Hills history -- if it continues in next week's finale.

FAKE: Brody's Head is Still in the Hills Game

Brody may have been physically present in last night's episode "He Loves Me Not" -- there was, after all, a Brody-like body slumped on a couch playing BrickBreaker -- but Brody Jenner, the charismatic Hills character, was mentally gone. Maybe in his mind, he was riding one of his bikes up the PCH highway flanked by his two best friends (the one who knows how to operate a motorcycle, and the one who does not). Maybe he was back in the tropics, jagging Kristin and making incest-themed toasts. Maybe he was thinking about the next girl he would sleep with, dismiss, and then scold for developing feelings for him. Maybe he was visualizing his pitch for Bromance: Season Two. Who knows, but one thing is for certain: MTV cameras may have been in that Hollywood club last night, but Brody's mind was not.