The 9 Most Scathing Critical Responses to Sex and the City 2

Hoo boy. Movieline's own Stephanie Zacharek might have alerted you to the appalling displeasure(s) of Sex and the City 2, but while she did give it a record-low rating for the site, there were people who appear to have despised the film even more. May they all receive phone calls from Sarah Jessica Parker! Meanwhile, here are a few of the most spectacular hate-geysers on the scale from "bitterly angry" to "thoroughly corrosive."

9. "I get that 'dignity be damned' is a mantra for writer-director King, who wants to let us know, every five minutes, that he just loves women. But it's one thing to create a group of BFFs who have become, in their way, post-millennium pop female icons as beloved as Mary Richards and Rhoda Morgenstern were in the late 1970s. It's quite another to drag them well into middle age, dress them like mutton passing as lamb, and lumber them with female troubles culled straight from the mommy or single lady blogs." -- Ella Taylor, The Village Voice

8. "The only thing memorable about Sex and the City 2 is the number two part, which describes it totally, if you get my drift. Everything else in this deadly, brainless exercise in pointless tedium is dedicated to the screeching audacity of delusional self-importance that convinces these people the whole world is waiting desperately to watch two hours and 25 minutes of platform heels, fake orgasms and preposterous clothes. It is to movies what fried dough is to nutrition." -- Rex Reed, The New York Observer

7. "Miranda and Charlotte toast all the women out there who somehow raise children without the aid of a full-time, live-in nanny. When Marie Antoinette did this, the people tore down the f*cking Bastille. When our Sex and the City girls do it, they slurp it up like box rosé and Häagen-Dazs." -- Walter Chaw, Film Freak Central

6. "Miley Cyrus [...] pops up ostensibly to play Miley Cyrus but really as a sop to that more callow generation of women who might just look at this Gang of Four and wonder, 'Like, who are these middle-aged narcissists, and did they used to be somebody?'" -- Rick Groen, Toronto Globe and Mail

5. "Before leaving Abu Dhabi, the increasingly loathsome quartet become involved in a mishap that ends with Samantha (now effectively reduced to a walking hormone joke) in the middle of a busy town square, holding up a package of condoms, thrusting her hips and shouting, 'I have sex!!!' as the Muslim call to prayer is sounded. Sex and the City 2 won't win any awards (save for a few Razzies), but it could become an effective inspirational video for suicide bombers -- provided they can endure the film's two-and-a-half hour running time, of course." -- Thomas Leupp, Hollywood.com

satc_smithee_3.jpg4. "King devises an Eastern-Western sisterhood subplot which features a group of burqa clad women coming to the foursome's rescue at a point when even they should be appalled. And that's before they disrobe to reveal their own designer duds and Suzanne Somers tomes! If cartoons of Mohammed have incited jihad, Sex and the City 2 may add nukes to the equation." -- Laura Clifford, Reeling Reviews

3. "A veil 'cuts back on the Botox bill!' chirps Samantha. Har. In Abu Dhabi husbands can legally beat their wives -- and Carrie thinks this place is Oz, a cure for her boredom with a zillionaire husband who, she complains, eats too much takeout. (She won't cook because she's more 'Coco Chanel than Coq au vin.' Waiter: one divorce, please)." -- Kyle Smith, NY Post

2. "It would have been more merciful for writer-director Michael Patrick King to have rented Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda out to the Saw franchise, or to Rob Zombie, so we could watch them get shot in the head or skinned alive by Arkansas rednecks. Instead of that, we get something that's truly sadistic: the SATC girls as haggard specters, haunted by their freewheeling '90s past and stupefied by the demands of work, marriage and/or motherhood." -- Andrew O'Hehir, Salon

1. "SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human -- working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it's my job -- and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car. It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls." -- Lindy West, The Stranger



Comments

  • Dimo says:

    Yo, where's our boy A.O.? I don't want to miss his class.

  • Quirky- says:

    Ha! You censored 'fucked' but left 'cunt' intact. I know it was an accident, but I like me some of that uncensored stuff.

  • Quirky- says:

    ...and by 'fucked', I obviously meant 'fucking'...

  • robotbutler says:

    I had try (unsuccessfully) to stifle laughter while reading this at my desk yesterday. Seriously, I read the first part of it on Rotten Tomatoes & HAD to click through to read the rest. My guess is it's funnier than anything in the movie.
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  • Dana says:

    I can't believe they even made a sequel to the first one. This whole deal has gone far, far beyond empowering and crossed over to grossly pathetic. It's just a shame when nice shows finish their run and manage to jump the shark post-fucking-cancellation... Magnificently.

  • QA says:

    I love you, Lindy West.
    Don't ever change.

  • The Winchester says:

    Rex Reed wrote a catty review?!?! Why, I never!

  • lucas says:

    don't you mean 'i can't believe they made a first one'. cause it was as unneeded as this sequel. the show ended nicely but now we have a movie that killed the horse and a sequel that beats it to a pulp. ugh

  • The ladies appear to have turned into Cathy cartoon cliches of themselves, and yet still we can’t decide if we’ll watch, Dhabi or no. The verdict? Most likely. Because it’s like watching a car wreck. Or licking a battery. Take a look at our review:
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  • Jamie says:

    I have no doubt that this movie is as bad as the reviews say it is. However,a little perspective,please. This is to women( okay,immature,silly women) what all those comic book/superhero movies are to guys. There is no realism in any of those films,unless you believe that grown men will willingly put on tights and battle villans --for no pay--just to make the world a better place. What about all those James Bond movies? There was never a lick of realism in any of those,yet they were regarded as fantasy. That's all this is,fantasy.

  • adam says:

    So you're saying that men fantasize about being heroes and fighting evil (and, in the case of James Bond, being rewarded with beautiful women), while women fantasize about being "entitled cunts"? Wow. Just wow.

  • Thomas says:

    Um. No. Just No. - some men fantasize about violence, over glorified explosions and being rewarded with women who have been reduced to nothing else but brainless over sexed "rewards" while some women dream about the female equivalent - being spoiled with shoes, shopping and idiotic equally over sexed and mindless beef cakes.
    The point was - both are just fantasies with not a lick of realism attached.

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  • It's important to phrase any posts including a critique without direct calling out another fellow member here or members right from other forums or lover sites. Doing so can bring about messy "flame wars" that could be difficult to extinguish. One good way could be to just phrase everything as being your own opinion. For example, "I personally find Shawn's express grating, her style over-the-top maddening, and the fact that she wears very much purple makes me think she is required to be mentally unstable" (or what maybe you've). You can stop now there. You don't have to take a to explain how dumbfounded that you are that anyone disagrees together with you.

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