Conan O'Brien Found TBS Through JDate, and 5 Other Jokes From Coco's Upfront Set

For Conan O'Brien, this morning's TBS upfront presentation was just another pit stop on his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour, and he opened the Hammerstein Ballroom show with a video sketch that found him lazing around his house in a fat suit, eating pizza, jumping on a trampoline in sweats, and answering the phone ("Hello, job!?...No, there is no Debbie here"). Eventually, Conan appeared to wild applause from the crowd of reporters, a premiere date for his show was announced -- November 8 -- and he launched into his new material. Here were his 6 best jokes:

1. On his partial standing ovation: "Please sit!...I love to do comedy at 10 in the morning."

2. One his recent career woes: "If anybody can explain what the f**k happened four months ago? The plot to Lost is more plausible than the last year, it makes more sense.

3. On what hes been up to: "For the last 12 months, I signed on as the host of The Tonight Show, I launched The Tonight Show, I left The Tonight Show, I grew a beard, joined Twitter, launched a nationwide comedy tour, joined the Obama administration as undersecretary of the interior, resigned in a sex scandal, perfected the mechanical human heart, and here I am at TBS."

4. On his new beard: "I look like the Brawny paper towel guy before a bone marrow transplant."

5. On the TBS programming execs: "When I met Steve Koonin on J-Date, we clicked instantly."

6. On the importance of cable: "I don't want to live in a country with less than six ESPNs."

And then, like his tour, Conan closed the show be performing "On the Road Again" with reworked lyrics: "My own show again, I can't wait to have my own show again... My own show again on any network even Oxygen....I'd change my sex if I have to... Off the road again, please get me off the road again... I'm sleeping on the bus with 27 men, I'd sell my soul to have my own show again."

· Notes From The Turner Presentation: All About Conan [Deadline]

· "Conan O'Brien performs at TBS, TNT upfront

":http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i66e6b9942a0b821f219bb5959d52d202 [THR]