Real Housewives of NYC Reality Check: Money Can't Buy You Class... But it Can Buy You Autotune
Last week on Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny mourned her estranged father from a Cadillac Escalade en route to hell and LuAnn cruised a jittery fellow named Cort who may or may not be gay. In this week's episode, whimsically titled "Housewives Overboard," LuAnn went down to Chinatown with Court (not a euphemism, she actually did venture to Canal Street), Ramona found her soulmate on a Hooters yacht, and for the first time in television history, someone misused the phrase "making lemons out of lemonade." Those goodies, as well as the truest and fakest moments of the night, after the jump.
TRUE: Kelly's Stupidity Drove Ramona to Dive Off of Her Own Bachelorette Party Yacht and Swim to the Nearest Supply of Pinot Grigio
Poor Ramona. All she wanted to do last night was throw herself a killer bachelorette party. She rented a luxury yacht, bought 30 different bikinis ("We can share!") and invited her closest frenemies to celebrate. Unfortunately, one of these frenemies, Kelly, proved to be an annoying, Amazonian liability to the group's ability to gossip. She defended the devil incarnate (Jill Zarin) and tried to scold the women for trash-talking: "If you guys want to talk in metaphors, you guys are making lemons into lemonade. I mean, absolutely ridiculous conversation."
Unwilling to believe that "making lemons out of lemonade" is actually a good thing, Kelly stormed off of the lido deck and walked into a sliding-glass door as the ladies looked on. That actually happened.
At this point, Ramona's pinot-withdrawal set in and she jumped off of her yacht, desperate for a fix. Fortunately, she spotted a Hooters boat with a full bar nearby. The born-again bachelorette boarded, pounded Styrofoam Hooters cup after Styrofoam Hooters cup of white wine until emboldened, she asked the kindly Hooters captain to rate her aging body. Like a gentleman, the Hooters captain lied, saying that Ramona "had one up on" his fleet of babes and Ramona rewarded him with a drunken kiss on the lips.
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