Real Housewives of NYC Reality Check: Money Can't Buy You Class... But it Can Buy You Autotune

Last week on Real Housewives of New York City, Bethenny mourned her estranged father from a Cadillac Escalade en route to hell and LuAnn cruised a jittery fellow named Cort who may or may not be gay. In this week's episode, whimsically titled "Housewives Overboard," LuAnn went down to Chinatown with Court (not a euphemism, she actually did venture to Canal Street), Ramona found her soulmate on a Hooters yacht, and for the first time in television history, someone misused the phrase "making lemons out of lemonade." Those goodies, as well as the truest and fakest moments of the night, after the jump.

TRUE: Kelly's Stupidity Drove Ramona to Dive Off of Her Own Bachelorette Party Yacht and Swim to the Nearest Supply of Pinot Grigio

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Poor Ramona. All she wanted to do last night was throw herself a killer bachelorette party. She rented a luxury yacht, bought 30 different bikinis ("We can share!") and invited her closest frenemies to celebrate. Unfortunately, one of these frenemies, Kelly, proved to be an annoying, Amazonian liability to the group's ability to gossip. She defended the devil incarnate (Jill Zarin) and tried to scold the women for trash-talking: "If you guys want to talk in metaphors, you guys are making lemons into lemonade. I mean, absolutely ridiculous conversation."

Unwilling to believe that "making lemons out of lemonade" is actually a good thing, Kelly stormed off of the lido deck and walked into a sliding-glass door as the ladies looked on. That actually happened.

At this point, Ramona's pinot-withdrawal set in and she jumped off of her yacht, desperate for a fix. Fortunately, she spotted a Hooters boat with a full bar nearby. The born-again bachelorette boarded, pounded Styrofoam Hooters cup after Styrofoam Hooters cup of white wine until emboldened, she asked the kindly Hooters captain to rate her aging body. Like a gentleman, the Hooters captain lied, saying that Ramona "had one up on" his fleet of babes and Ramona rewarded him with a drunken kiss on the lips.

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Comments

  • kitty Caboodle says:

    Why do you write that the Captain of the Hooters yacht was lying when he said Ramona was one up over the Hooters girls/ What you don't believe some men find older women exciting, erotic and beautiful? You need to get a reality check there are men of ALL ages who are totally into older good looking, in shape women. They like the idea that an older woman is more sexually experienced and has lived a life with far more experiences than her younger counterparts. Ohh don't tell me you believe only older men are interesting to their younger admirers, is that it? Uhh wake up and smell the coffee and older women often have more confidence simply because they have lived through many things that younger women could not have possibly gone through. And you do realize older does not mean unattractive and flabby, if one exercises and takes good care of them self they can look incredibly beautiful. It's sad you are an age-a-phobe.

  • Adrianne says:

    Does any one know who makes the sunglasses Kelly is wearing while having lunch on the yacht w/ Ramona and the ladies?

  • JH says:

    Kitty, I'm sure Ramona's age has nothing to do with it -- more like her personality, crazy eyes and overall irritating demeanor!

  • kitty Caboodle says:

    Ohhh Jh I see. Well it sure seemed like it was about Ramona's age, since Ramona had said something like she was not like the young Hooters girls and that Captain of the yacht/CEO of Hooters said she had it over them.

  • 1. After loading the Parental Control window, click "Time Limits".

  • Collen Wess says:

    This is by far one of my favorite posts you have done, I don't agree on some points but you are good writer for sure

  • Golf Clubs says:

    The photography is incredible. Many thanks this writeup, I am a fashion merchandising graduate in Brooklyn and I discovered this to be rather useful.

  • She should be fed kitten food. She needs all the fat and protein she can get right now. Any good-quality brand will do. Moist food is good because it helps her get liquid as well as nutrients; however, I would definitely keep both moist and dry food available for her, as well as water, of course. She should NOT receive milk.

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