23 Questions About Lost Episode 615, "Across the Sea," Answered!

Previously on Lost: Two men sit on a beach. Two men sit on a beach, one wearing a white ensemble, the other dressed in black. Two men sit on a beach, chatting with an undertone of mystery and menace. Two men sit on a beach, and one of them is all, "I'm gonna learn some loopholes, and then I'm going to kill you!" And the other one's like, "Go right ahead, brah. I'm mostly unkillable!" Then the two men Indian leg-wrestle, with the one in black throwing in some illegal noogies. "Bah! I'm gonna kill you, you'll see!" he says. "See you in Hell, or on another Purgatory island or something, tough guy!" Eventually, an atom bomb explodes.

Let's cherish this time together, as we have only two more episodes to raise our Questions, and search for our Answers. Like the ones we're about to ask concerning "Across the Sea," right now!

Is this going to be one of those episodes where we don't spend any time with the main characters we've fallen so deeply in love with over the past six seasons, so that we can explore the backstory of characters relatively new to the Lostiverse?

This is exactly one of those episodes.

But...but...don't these people realize that there are only two more episodes left, ever?

Oh, they realize it:

janney-babies.jpg

[sputtering noise, followed by a deep breath, and then a high-pitched whine that is, somehow, recognizable as a question struggling to escape]?

It's going to be OK. You'll get some answers to a lot of nagging questions! Sure, maybe some of those questions might have been dealt with in the context of an episode that involves the main characters, and maybe some of those questions might have been more satisfying if left unresolved. Here, take one more deep breath, calm down a little, and then look at this cave with the golden light pouring out of it.

Whoa. What's the golden light?

Ssssh. Just look at it. It's pretty special. We'll get to it later.

Isn't "Jacob" a bit of a strange name for a Latin-speaking lady to give her child?

It is. You'd think she'd go with Antonio, or Pablo, But look at that kid. He's pretty Nordic looking. Borderline Albino. His dad's probably a Swede or a German or a Viking or something. Maybe he picked out the name.

Didn't Claudia have a second-place name picked out, so that in the unlikely event the baby didn't look like a "Jacob," or, say, she gave birth to twins, she could maybe use that name for the other child?

We have only two episodes left, and you want to thumb through the baby name book? You're worse than Carlmon Lindecuse!

So what's the Man in Black's name? Surely they'll tell us his name!

Let's just call him MiBby for now. (It seems wrong to call him Smokey as a child.) And do the capitalization in exactly this annoying fashion, as a kind of symbolic (and, quite frankly, sort of pathetic) protest about having his name withheld yet again. Though it's entirely possible he has no name! Maybe Allison Janney decided that since his bio-mom didn't give him one before she murdered her, he wouldn't get one. And this lack of a name, and the subsequent centuries of his pals calling him "Hey You," added extra fuel to MiBby's centuries of bitterness.

As long as we're talking names, why don't MiBBY or Mother have actual ones?

Because archetypes don't get real names, sillypants!

Is it midwife custom to smash the mother's head with a rock after she gives birth?

No, that's usually more of a doula thing. But when a Mother needs to raise a Protector for the Golden Light, sometimes she needs to smash a pregnant lady's head and steal her oddly mismatched twins. Ships are only wrecked off the coast of the island every ten years or so.

Is this the baby-stealingest island in the history of islands?

Everyone's always stealing babies! Maybe one day some scientists will come to the island to study the phenomenon, and then suddenly switch their focus to the weird infertility of women who live there. Then they'll get bored of that, too, drop the whole project, and throw their best fertility doctor down a hole with an atomic bomb.

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Comments

  • "Why does Mother love MiBby more than Jacob? It’s painfully obvious there’s some serious favoritism happening in that family."
    I assumed it was because she knew he'd be the one to finally kill her and put her out of her immortal motherly misery. Note Jacob didn't seem to upset about Ben's insecurity-induced stab back at the end of season five. No one wants to guard the light.
    Also note the parallels to Desmond's storyline back in season two, when he started pushing the button without anything but a vague explanation of what he was doing from his predecessor, whom he accidentally killed, naturally, by smashing his head against a rock!

  • sweetbiscuit says:

    Another tough day for C.J. Cregg, it seems... as well as for anyone who used to love and defend "Lost." Sigh. Has there been any other show that jumped the shark that much in the next to last episode?

  • Dimo says:

    No kidding. I've never wanted a show to end so much in my life. It has become it's title.

  • casting couch says:

    Easily one of the most disappointing "reveal" episodes of all time.

  • Chris Rywalt says:

    The next episode won't be about the Outrigger Marksmen. They're saving them for the finale. The next episode to be a flashback explaining how Zoe got hired by Widmore and a flash sideways to tell us what Phil is doing in the parallel universe.

  • Victor Ward says:

    I spent the entire hour wondering when Kevin Sorbo would show up.

  • sweetbiscuit says:

    So true -- I had a whole Xena flash-sideways of my own.

  • This still doesn't tell us who built the Egyptian statue in whose foot Jacob was murdered.
    I still think the glow (in underground anomalies) was left by the race that built that statue.

  • Lost on Lost says:

    Also, just in case you had the sound muted at that moment, there was a subtitle that read, “Locke explains that Mother and the Man in Black are Adam and Eve, tidily resolving a mystery introduced back in Season One.”
    ROFLMAO. I agree the Enhanced version are beyond sucky, with useless information anyone who's paying attention to the show they are watching or watched the last episode wouldn't already know. My fav "In this reality Sawyer is a cop" as he's putting a f'ing police shield on around his neck.
    Also I agree the show has "Nuked the Fridge" (the new Jumped the Shark).

  • Simon Jester says:

    Jacob was derived from the Latin Iacobus/Jacobus and the Hebrew Ya'akov The name Jacob has a form in just about every language on earth it is a very old name.
    This episode implied they were speaking Latin through the entire episode but they translated it to English for us (as they did in Hunt for red October) Latin would have been a 2nd language for Greeks, Egyptians, Hebrews, or any other ancient culture.

  • Glen Truver says:

    Wow, I never new that, much appreciated.

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