23 Questions About Lost Episode 615, "Across the Sea," Answered!

Previously on Lost: Two men sit on a beach. Two men sit on a beach, one wearing a white ensemble, the other dressed in black. Two men sit on a beach, chatting with an undertone of mystery and menace. Two men sit on a beach, and one of them is all, "I'm gonna learn some loopholes, and then I'm going to kill you!" And the other one's like, "Go right ahead, brah. I'm mostly unkillable!" Then the two men Indian leg-wrestle, with the one in black throwing in some illegal noogies. "Bah! I'm gonna kill you, you'll see!" he says. "See you in Hell, or on another Purgatory island or something, tough guy!" Eventually, an atom bomb explodes.

Let's cherish this time together, as we have only two more episodes to raise our Questions, and search for our Answers. Like the ones we're about to ask concerning "Across the Sea," right now!

Is this going to be one of those episodes where we don't spend any time with the main characters we've fallen so deeply in love with over the past six seasons, so that we can explore the backstory of characters relatively new to the Lostiverse?

This is exactly one of those episodes.

But...but...don't these people realize that there are only two more episodes left, ever?

Oh, they realize it:

[sputtering noise, followed by a deep breath, and then a high-pitched whine that is, somehow, recognizable as a question struggling to escape]?

It's going to be OK. You'll get some answers to a lot of nagging questions! Sure, maybe some of those questions might have been dealt with in the context of an episode that involves the main characters, and maybe some of those questions might have been more satisfying if left unresolved. Here, take one more deep breath, calm down a little, and then look at this cave with the golden light pouring out of it.

Whoa. What's the golden light?

Ssssh. Just look at it. It's pretty special. We'll get to it later.

Isn't "Jacob" a bit of a strange name for a Latin-speaking lady to give her child?

It is. You'd think she'd go with Antonio, or Pablo, But look at that kid. He's pretty Nordic looking. Borderline Albino. His dad's probably a Swede or a German or a Viking or something. Maybe he picked out the name.

Didn't Claudia have a second-place name picked out, so that in the unlikely event the baby didn't look like a "Jacob," or, say, she gave birth to twins, she could maybe use that name for the other child?

We have only two episodes left, and you want to thumb through the baby name book? You're worse than Carlmon Lindecuse!

So what's the Man in Black's name? Surely they'll tell us his name!

Let's just call him MiBby for now. (It seems wrong to call him Smokey as a child.) And do the capitalization in exactly this annoying fashion, as a kind of symbolic (and, quite frankly, sort of pathetic) protest about having his name withheld yet again. Though it's entirely possible he has no name! Maybe Allison Janney decided that since his bio-mom didn't give him one before she murdered her, he wouldn't get one. And this lack of a name, and the subsequent centuries of his pals calling him "Hey You," added extra fuel to MiBby's centuries of bitterness.

As long as we're talking names, why don't MiBBY or Mother have actual ones?

Because archetypes don't get real names, sillypants!

Is it midwife custom to smash the mother's head with a rock after she gives birth?

No, that's usually more of a doula thing. But when a Mother needs to raise a Protector for the Golden Light, sometimes she needs to smash a pregnant lady's head and steal her oddly mismatched twins. Ships are only wrecked off the coast of the island every ten years or so.

Is this the baby-stealingest island in the history of islands?

Everyone's always stealing babies! Maybe one day some scientists will come to the island to study the phenomenon, and then suddenly switch their focus to the weird infertility of women who live there. Then they'll get bored of that, too, drop the whole project, and throw their best fertility doctor down a hole with an atomic bomb.

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