The Secretariat Trailer: Eat Hay, Seabiscuit!

Despite being more than five months away from release, Disney unfurled the new trailer for Secretariat today with the hopes of capitalizing on America's Kentucky Derby fever. Wait, you didn't realize the Kentucky Derby was this Saturday either? Nevertheless, cue up some inspirational music and John Malkovich over-acting...

Kudos to the Disney marketing department for painting Secretariat with the same brush that made The Blind Side such a hit. It's a sports movie, but with a strong female protagonist -- in this case, a buttoned-up Diane Lane, as Secretariat owner Penny Tweedy. And just so Lane doesn't get pushed aside by a stronger male lead, there's a bunch of character actors around to chew scenery and know their roles: The aforementioned Malkovich -- festooned with some truly ridiculous wardrobe choices, but still looking better than he does in Jonah Hex -- and both Dylan Baker and Dylan Walsh, seemingly in an effort to confuse everyone watching.

Still, at its heart, Secretariat is a horse movie. And while Seabiscuit crossed $100 million at the box office, remember that it starred Tobey Maguire fresh off Spider-Man. Triple Crown or not, Secretariat isn't so lucky.