First Iron Man 2 Reviews: From 'Mind-Numbingly Dull' to 'F***ing Rocks Balls'
The Iron Man 2 reactions embargo was lifted today, and though you'll have to wait until next week for Stephanie Zacharek's review at Movieline, the trades, the geek press, and the British tabloids are all weighing in. The verdict? All over the map.
UK outlet The Mirror touted its write-up as "the world's first review" of Iron Man 2, and by giving the film one star out of five, writer David Edwards capitalized on the extra attention:
Iron Man 2 is a travesty - a mind-numbingly dull, chaotic and often unwatchable muddle. It might even be the ultimate masterclass in how not to make a movie. Given the strength of part one, the sequel is not just a terrific failure but a terrific disappointment.
The Hollywood Reporter's Kirk Honeycutt was every bit as harsh in his review:
Well, that didn't take long. Everything fun and terrific about "Iron Man," a mere two years ago, has vanished with its sequel. In its place, "Iron Man 2" has substituted noise, confusion, multiple villains, irrelevant stunts and misguided story lines. A film series that started out with critical and commercial success will have to settle for only the latter with this sequel. Robert Downey Jr.'s return as Tony Stark/Iron Man will assure that...For a film riding a wave of unbridled achievement from its predecessor, "Iron Man 2" begins with a curious sense of panic. Characters all talk at once. Hesitant story lines launch in all directions.
Meanwhile, Variety's Brian Lowry said this...or at least, this is what I read before Variety's paywall screen of death popped up:
Not as much fun as its predecessor, but by the time the smoke clears, it'll do.
Not everyone wanted to take down Iron Man 2, though. Hitfix's Drew McWeeny wrote up a good-vibes review that dings the score but not a damn thing else:
"Iron Man 2" is, in every possible way, issue two of a comic book. It doesn't have to spend time setting up the origin of the character, and it doesn't feel the need to resolve every single story thread introduced in this one film. There's a sense that everyone's settling into this series and thinking big. It is just as confident as the first film, and incredibly aggressive in the way it handles story and characterization.
And lastly, Harry Knowles: effusive! So effusive, corporate policy compels me to add asterisks to some of these words:
I F***ING LOVE THE ACTION of the film. I love that this is full on Marvel Science Fiction. The entire last act just f***ing rocks balls! I was concerned as I watched the Monaco sequence, that this would not be topped for the rest of the film. It is awesome. If you've been watching the TV Spots - you see a bit of the actual Whiplash vs IRON MAN in Monaco sequence - but frankly, once IRON MAN shows up... your ass was already blown away by Happy Hogan versus Whiplash. No S**t! I'm telling you - AWESOMERY! Sure - there's a bit of Lucille Ball to Paltrow's Pepper Potts in the car - but I love that. She's freaking out. F**k, given what's going on, I bet most of us would be freaking the f**k out. There's a crazy ass bastard with lightning whips just cutting through steel and concrete and it is scary and visceral as all hell.
"Awesomery." I'm using that.