The V Resistance Strategy Guide: Why 'We Can't Win' Rings Very True


After last week, I was convinced V's pitiful human resistance couldn't sink much lower in terms of efficacy. But they made some pretty awful, bumbling decisions this week, too.

In last night's episode -- aptly titled 'We Can't Win' -- the human resistance snatched up a Visitor to interrogate, only to find out he was actually human. Anna (Morena Baccarin) solves the global energy crisis, which wins her over not only with natural disaster victims, but also with ethically challenged journalist Chad Decker. And despite Lisa's failing her mother's empathy test, she's granted a reprieve by the ship's Fifth Column mole and promptly celebrates by having lizard space sex with Tyler.

And now, a point-by-point review of the resistance's latest ill-conceived battle strategies:

Strategy: Reach out to the Fifth Column

Execution: 8 of 10. Well, they did what they could. Erica and Co. track down Alex Caruso, who managed to survive the Vs' Fifth Column crack down. The hope is that Caruso will lead them to a few more members, thus marginally expanding the resistance. Apparently, according to Tori from Battlestar Galactica, the "John May Lives" rallying cry swelled the Fifth Column ranks, so theoretically, there's a bigger pool of active rebels now. At least until Anna kills them all.

Strategy: Exploit Erica's FBI connections to get more Fifth Column intel

Execution: 8 of 10. Erica's got, like, the greatest job ever: She goes into the office for about half an hour every day, and then she fools all her colleagues by consorting with the very people they're trying to catch. Not to mention she's got access to a lot of documents that are very clearly not public domain. They've got access to the data. It's just too bad they can't figure out how to use it.

Strategy: Snatch up a Visitor

Execution: 2 of 10. This was a nightmare. It was like watching newly crowned Faith lead all the slayers into that bomb trap near the end of season seven of Buffy, only this one we can attribute to bad writing. Once the puny resistance finds Caruso, they use him as bait to catch a V (predator?). I can't imagine what they were expecting would happen, but a sniper shows up and of course shoots the poor man. Erica chases down the man to find out he's not a V after all. Why did he join them? Because, "We can't win."

Have I misjudged? Or can you think of a single more inept group to lead a crusade against ... anyone?