American Idol Recap: Who 'Inspired' Us Most?
Last night, American Idol battered us with selections from its most syrupy set list yet: Inspirational Songs. Run, Bowersox! Rod Stewart wouldn't touch half of this nonsense in a "Great American Songbook" package, and lord, that says it all. Still, we got seven performances, seven consultations with the catatonic Alicia Keys, and one obvious winner. Our rankings and video after the jump.
7. Tim Urban, "Better Days"
Tim's heyday of surviving elimination thanks to over-compensating Preteen Vogue subscribers is behind us. Now, we return to the good work of forgetting his ass, because what did he sing? "Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls? I don't recall that. You're making it up! I remember that he stared Alicia Keys in the face with all the determination of a kindergartner who painted his egg-carton caterpillar the wrong way. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Keys. I put the yellow stripe on the top -- not the sides. Don't take away my recess. 🙁 " But otherwise, his performance barely happened. Too effing late for your child eyes now, Tim. If it were up to me and the rest of the faculty, we'd string you up on the jungle gym until you admit you're a wayward Quizno's sandwich artist who's never heard of "Goo Goo Dolls" or "American Idol" or "songs."
6. Casey James, "Don't Stop"
Casey read that roaring Idol crowd like a book: He knew the tweens wanted to hear an inauguration anthem from before they were born. My God, it happened for them! We didn't get to see when Casey slept with most members of Rickey Minor's band and wrote a blockbuster '70s album, or when he ingested hills of cocaine with his "bottom end" (quoth Shania Twain), but he captured that Fleetwood Mac air and Christine McVie indifference. It was as "indifferent" as it gets, actually. For Top 7 night, this performance needed to register with us much more.