5 Miramax Films the Weinsteins Can Remake To Get Out of Hock

By now you've heard the feel good story of the week -- hey, it was a slow week -- that Harvey and Bob Weinstein are thisclose to buying back their beloved Miramax from Disney for the not-so-cheap price of $600 million. Disney has denied this, but were the sale to go through it would bring up at least one question: How the hell do the Weinstein Brothers -- the same Weinstein Brothers who barely had enough money to release Youth in Revolt into theaters -- plan to pay back their fellow investors (lead by billionaire financier Ron Burkle), who presumably footed a lot of this bill? One word: Remakes! Here now are the five films from the Miramax library that the Weinsteins should seriously consider revisiting.

1. Pulp Fiction

Really, a no-brainer. The movie that put Miramax and the Weinstein Brothers on the map could be the same one to get them out of massive financial debt. It's doubtful that Quentin Tarantino would do this again, but what about one of the two-dozen Tarantino rip-offs knocking around town. Find the dude who directed 2 Days in the Valley, cast Lindsay Lohan in the Uma Thurman role and, presto!

2. The Talented Mr. Ripley

At the height of their powers, the Weinsteins could make money off of anything. Even a slow-moving, art house thinker about a gay serial killer like The Talented Mr. Ripley found its way to $80 million. Matt Damon famously went against his type for the role and that worked out fine for everyone. Perhaps Robert Pattinson can be convinced this time around.

3. Scary Movie

Fun fact: Anna Faris is still young enough to star in this remake! Unfortunately, she's still not famous, except to the small cabal of film critics and bloggers who worship her skills and comedy genius. By the way, when is Private Benjamin coming out again?

4. Kids

At the time of its release, Kids was just another incendiary film from the Weinsteins. (In fact, Disney wouldn't release it unrated after the brothers acquired the film at Sundance, so they bought it back and put it out independently.) Today, though? It looks like an episode of Gossip Girl. Get Josh Schwartz to pen a remake, slap a couple of indie-rock songs on the soundtrack and watch the lines go around the block.

5. The English Patient

Two words: Michael Bay. Two other words: Action blockbuster.



Comments

  • cinechiquita says:

    Why in the world would someone remake Pulp Fiction right now? Wait about 60 years, then think about it again. It'll still hold up then.
    Talented Mr. Ripley would be more valid. Although Hitchcock is the one and only director who could have made the perfect movie of that story.

  • Paul Collins says:

    Sadly, United States is a dying country. Who says Miramax and the Weinstein Brothers will last forever. Foreign films have the most orginality. Since China owns the American debt, maybe they will buy out Hollywood and move it, where imagination and creativity will be encouraged, not stifled.

  • Dyrkness says:

    A remake of Scary movie would require current references ,which would just make it Scary Movie 5.

  • scott says:

    it always bothers me to read negative comments under an article, as the respondants usually just seem bratty or worse, but I have to say that, unless this is meant to be a joke, i've never seen such a misguided film list. considering the standard set by the internet, that's saying alot. this is like reading a magazine that, due to cutbacks, had the food writer do the film reviews.
    beyond the fact that nobody would pay to see a remake of a recent and well made film like The English Patient, that the Talented Mr. Ripley is already a remake, that, as the above post says, Scary Movie uses sequels instead of remakes, that a remake of Kids would be more expensive and less popular than just another movie about youth culture, anybody who thinks that paying the guy who made 2 days in the Valley to remake Pulp Fiction is a "no-brainer", and not something that would not only flop, but ruin several careers, probably should be writing about something other than film, if they should be writing at all.

Post a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s