4 Crucial Lessons Learned From Variety Editor Timothy Gray's Sunday Column

Things have gotten so dicey over at Variety, that editor Timothy Gray used his Sunday column to comment at length on the slings and arrows facing his fledgling daily in recent weeks. As he writes, "Variety has been accused by various other news outlets of Philistinism, breaches of ethics and unscrupulous practices." So what better place to refute those claims then in a column buried behind an Internet pay wall! Okay, so you probably didn't read Gray's passionate remarks -- or even know they existed -- but fear not. Here are the four most important lessons gleaned from his column:

Lesson #1: She Who Must Not Be Named

While discussing various "bloggers," Gray writes: "No, I'm not talking about that one blogger whom some people actually read, I'm talking about a few who are trying in vain to be like her." So it's confirmed: In the halls of Variety, Deadline's Nikki Finke is the new Voldemort.

Lesson #2: The Internet is a Mysterious Place

After Gray makes a valid point about how one-sided reports aren't necessarily best for the reader, a "blogger" tells him, "I don't think you understand the Internet." Considering this article comes from behind a pay wall, that seems quite accurate.

Lesson #3: "Fired" Isn't Fired

See, Variety didn't actually fire film critic Todd McCarthy, they just "proposed renegotiating terms that it hopes are fair." Simple misunderstanding! So next time your boss tells you to take a substantial pay cut or you're out, don't think of it as anything but renegotiation.

Lesson #4: Tim Gray hasn't seen King Kong

As you can see from the accompanying photo, Gray appears to fancy himself King Kong on top of the Variety building, swatting away the claims of various biplane-piloting bloggers. Only, doesn't King Kong end with Kong dead on the street? 'Twas Nikki killed the beast.

· Scrutiny on the Bounty [Variety, sub. req.]