Real Housewives of NYC Reality Check: How Sorry Was Bethenny Frankel?
The other Housewives of New York City can knock Bethenny Frankel for her vitriol, her publicity-mongering and and her tendency to put career over friendships, but the woman knows how to sell the sh*t out of an apology. In last night's episode, "The Ambush," Bethenny cried every time she was on camera, exploited her dying father for sympathy and distributed personalized "I'm Sorry" cards with the ease of a faux-remorse pro. It was brilliant. After the jump, Movieline dissects Bethenny's apology strategy, congratulates Ramona for finding her way out of that pinot grigio glass long enough to overcome her fear of Brooklyn and assess which moments from last night's episode hit the Real/Fake Jackpot.
TRUE: Bethenny Does Not Want to Fight With Jill Anymore
The actual "ambush" in last night's episode may have been wildly staged, but I honestly believe that Bethenny wanted to clear the air with Jill. Hear me out: By healing her relationship with Jill -- which combusted when Bethenny only sent Jill's dying husband flowers instead of actually visiting him -- Bethenny can finally publish that self-help book about friendship that she has written and launch another class at the Learning Annex.
Below is a teaser from the inevitable book, How to Apologize to Your Frenemies:
1. Ambush: It may seem cold and calculated but this is the best (and only surefire way) to approach that frenemy you've been battling. And it guarantees that you will have the upper hand in the confrontation.
2. Bear Gifts: This always helps. In last night's episode, Bethenny appeared to be carrying a bakery box as she entered Ramona's inner sanctum. She also had apology notes in her purse, but I'll get to that in a second.
3. If Possible, Arrive For the Talk Directly After Flying Across the Country to See Your Dying Father: Obviously, you cannot always plan things like this but they help. Bonus pity points if your father turned you away from his death bed (as Bethenny's did in last night's episode).
4. Start Slow: This is imperative because the ambushed frenemy will feel, well, ambushed and defensive. Last night, Bethenny demonstrated this step by saying, "I won't be negative"/"I just want to sit down and talk"/"We don't have to be friends."
5. Tears: Self-explanatory.
6. Deny, Deny, Deny: This does not always work, as Bethenny showed last night when she tried to say she did not know that Jill's husband was sick. Jill responded, "Are you kidding? You sent me flowers! You knew he was sick. He had f*cking cancer! They slit his throat open!"
7. Allude to Your Own Personal Problems: This teaser (last night, Bethenny's was "There's another big thing going on with me that we will talk about later) incited curiosity and a moment of gentleness in Jill.
8. Tire her Out By Rehashing Your Friendship: This will exhaust her and just make her willing to put it all behind you. Or else her friend (LuAnn) will interrupt and tell her that her Town Car is waiting for her downstairs.
9. Personal Touch: Leaving your frenemy with a small token of your appreciation/apology -- in last night's case, a card for Jill's husband Bobby -- will show that you cared enough to follow Bethenny's steps towards a frenemy truce.
There's really no need to even get into the irony of Bethenny saying to Jill, "I just want to talk to you alone for a few minutes" as a camera crew, Ramona and LuAnn, and the housewives' assistants pulled up chairs for the impending throw down.
FALSE: Ramona Wanted to Visit Brooklyn
As much as viewers wanted to believe that Ramona had gotten past her fear of the borough long enough for a security-protected stroll through the neighborhood, it was simply not true. Producers needed a storyline for her that would show that she is not just a bundle of manic personalities that change depending on her white wine consumption that day. Track suit + camera-captured walk across the Brooklyn bridge = human. Right?
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Comments
This is so grossly cynical it makes me ill. May there be less of you and more optimism in the world.
What show were u watching last night. Your review was so far off it was funny. I would not treat my worst enemy the way Queen Jill did last night. Jill and The Countess are nasty mean. It made me sick to my stomach to watch Jill and how everything is always about her. She couldn't have a fight because she forgot her list of reasons why she is mad at B.
Last nights episode was disgusting to say the least. It was disgusting to see two self involved chickens (Jill and Her best friend the cheated on countess) pile on the drama!!!!I would never use the "B" word but after tonight they are definitely that. First off why is LuAnn so worried about someone speaking to her? Is it not clear that Bethanny could give a rats ass about you, nor should she. She was there to see Jill. And Jill is nothing but a immature old woman who needs a life. Who is dishing for the drama?? You are telling me you can't sit down and speak with someone you considered a close friend without an audience?? Are you that pathetic and unforgiving. You couldn't even stop two seconds and listen to her. She said she did not know how badly Bobby was off and ocntacted you about it and you never responded. So whats the issue? You dropped the ball. Excuse the girl for working and making money. Not everyone can benefit from their husbands pocketbook. You have no place to talk as far as I am concerned. You are disgusting unforgiving pig and you and your pathetic side-kick need to go back to the farm because your drama act stinks!
You hate Bethenny, we get it, but this is the most ridiculous recap I have ever read of any reality show. Take off your hater glasses and look again at what the rest of the world saw.
Wow, Julie, you are way, way off on this. Obviously, Bethenny knows she shot off her big mouth and made a mess of things with her "You need to get a hobby" comment, and she wants to make amends. Jill is more interested in being hurt than actually moving on. Why hold onto that voicemail message for over 3 months? That's crazy. Bethenny feels awful that she wasn't there for Jill while Bobby was sick, and Jill wasn't completely communicating with her either. How was Bethenny supposed to know how sick Bobby was if Jill isn't telling her? Bethenny's off working a crazy schedule with a new man in her life and her very complicated relationship with her father just got even more complicated with his health issues. At this point, Bethenny's to be commended for showing restraint for not always bringing up her father's health issues while Jill is still holding onto resentment from something that happened months and months ago. Sorry, I'm Team Bethenny on this one, all the way.
WOW.
How OFF could you be?
First of all, the card Bethenny had was a get well card for Bobby...weren't you watching the show?
Second of all, the GIFT was for Ramona...once again were you watching?
Maybe you should open your eyes and WATCH the show before you criticize someone like Bethenny, obviously you have no right to be a journalist on here if you can't even get the show right!!!!!!!
Seriously, this show (and all the housewives shows) are full of idiot women who do not deserve to be in the spotlight. How can these women watch themselves and still remain blind to their own flaws and craziness?
Its embarrassing and infuriating to see how they all behave.
That said, I don't think you actually watched the episode. Jill has lost her mind and deserves no sympathy for how she is creating personal drama, then complaining about everyone else bringing drama into her life. My favorite was when she said Ramona needed to 'get a hobby'....after complaining all season of Bethany using the same phrase. She is such a hypocrite.
yes, the show is fluff...but at least try to accurately portray what happens.
Are you on the Zarin Fabrics Payroll????
i am as sick of bethenny as anyone, and always loved jill, until lately. unfortunately, another side of her is coming out that is making me question all of her sincerity. a wise friend of mine always warned me to be weary of those friends who were only there when times were tough. yes, you need friends at those times, but your true friends are there to celebrate with you when times are good. jill is GOING OUT OF HER WAY to be mean and gang up on bethenny. and luann is just flat out ridiculous. she clearly wants jill all to herself, and was even trying to step between jill and ramona. and literally trying to pry ramona's hands off of jill when ramona was trying to connect with jill. bethenny is not perfect, nor better than them, but she is different and comes from a different place. she got where she is all on her own, okay, maybe with some friends help mentoring and lining her up with people- but essentially, she did it on her own and i for the first time feel like jill is jealous. i never felt that before. she wanted bethenny all to herself and couldn't take bethenny's success. well, she can have luann all to herself this season b/c nobody else wants her. she is totally fake, and i'd want to choke her with constantly acting like she is the queen of tact and etiquette. all of her boo hoo'ing and crying to ramona about some stupid tiny little comment her husband made- who f'ing cares and why are you stirring up drama. also, i don't know what's up with ramona this season- but she is for sure my favorite. i didn't dislike her ever, but now, i actually am seeing her as more REAL and less of a caracature and i LOVE LOVE LOVE when she's fed up with the bullshit and just tells it like it is! (like, to bethenny on the bridge- even though it was mean, very incredible and honest... and, in the clips from upcoming episode where she says to kelly, 'i can't talk to you. you don't have a brain.' LOL... seriously, it's true! sorry for kelly, but love that ramona just said it outloud!) i would dance on tables with ramona any day. love her.
Everyone who watches this s++t is crazy.The broads are not attractive or real.This is all show business and you chumps that watch are falling for it.
Your review is totally off the mark. Jill Zarin's true colors have finally come out. What a self-serving, self-involved, obnoxious, mean-spirited and juvenile person she is. She has been stirring up trouble about the problems she and Bethenney Frankel have been having instead of talking it out between them. Jill is so incredibly high-school. It was so upsetting and painful to watch Jill put Bethenney on speakerphone for LuAnn's amusement so that they could laugh together about. Bethenney has certainly made mistakes but she was adult enough to try to talk to Jill and work it out. Jill just wanted to tell everyone about how she was "wronged." And, Jill Zarin has written a book on friendship. Really??? Really??? How absolutely ridiculous. I don't know why she bothered - she's already written the book on how NOT to be a friend. Jill, go crawl back into your $10,000 handbag and quit your whining. No one wants to hear it.
You must have been wronged by someone like Bethenny in your past. How you could think that Bethenny was being inauthentic when the pain was visible on her face? The girl cannot fake it. She would not make a good actress. Jill reacted like a caged animal who was caught eating her neighbor. Of course, we don't see all of it but the fact that the Bravo producers added in footage where Jill "ambushed" Kelly and Bethenny last season shows that they believe Jill is out of line and blowing something way out of proportion.
Jill has gone from being my favorite to almost my least favorite. I'll leave that title to Luann who truly is worse than a snake.
it's called entertainment... we aren't "falling for" anything. we're being entertained in our 'wind down' time. save the lectures, and why are you even wasting your time here if you're too important for this stuff. have fun doing real stuff elsewhere.
Bethanny you are SOOOOOOOOO much better than those superficial, caddy, two faced sycophants (Jill, LuAnn, Ramona). FORGET JILL! Love your husband and your baby. Make lots of money doing what you love and don't change any part of your life. Screw you Jill.
Jill needs a life and her Countless friend is one BIG loser.. she needs to get a LIFE... supposely she is very proper...
I agree. Jill used to be one of my favorites--now she, along with LuaAnn, are my least favorites. Bethany was understating the facts when she called LuAnn a snake. Bethany seems the most normal of all of the housewives. She is trying to address the issues with Jill--apologize, get some closure, etc., while Jill just wants to stir up trouble. Obviously Jill was hurt, but now she wants to hold on to the hurt rather than move on....and she is saddling up with the Countess?
I accidentaly caught this show and have to agree with most responses - Jill and her BFF Minion'o'Manners just jumped the shark. Bethenny is many things, but she clearly spoke her mind and literally begged to be heard. LouAnn for all her bragging about knowing the intricacies of high etiquette seemed to have forgotten one of the greatest rules - benevolence and grace. It is good/proper manner to allow another to speak, thus asserting one's moral high ground and (possibly)superiority. Yet, Jill just couldn't get out of the behavioral jello mosh pit and continued to act like a little ego driven harpie. It was surreal and to top it all off, Classless not only took sides and approved of Jill's the bizarre exchange but egged Jill on (!!! - another gargantuan faux pas). It was a lesson in bad manners and I was mesemerized. Poor Bethenny - but gotta give her credit - in spite of being pretty upset, she managed to speak her mind and her tone was anything but combattive. Unfortunately, Jill's reaction was unavoidable - afer all, there was a grain of truth in what Jill's hobby comment and this time too. I expect that just as with the saved vm, Jill will save the conversation soundbite and play it over and over and over. It was more cringeworthy than usual, that's for sure.
I am so confused...did you watch the episode last night? Both ladies have been portrayed by the show one way or another but last night their true colors shown through and Bethenny's rough exterior showed a fragile human who accepts her flaws and asks for forgiveness and Jill, well she said it herself she is "a cold-hearted bitch."
Too bad for Jill this episode aired as she is on a book tour. Who in their right mind who waste money on any advice she has to give unless it is to make true enemies (not true friends) and having everyone hate you. No thanks, I'll wait for Bethenny's book she is a woman who has more class than the countess and a genuine heart unlike Jill.
Well well.....i think B was authentic, and did not try to gain pity points with Jill, what else could she do really? I found the only pain in the ass was te Countess, here's some tea oh the car is here MYOB, yu big man woman. It was sickening to see her so scared that B, and Jill would make up. If fact it was pathetic!
And what the hell is wrong with Ramona, she has a psych Axis, i am not sure what the hell it is but it's there. She is one strange woman! Either she is doing mega drugs or has a real medical condition not yet in the medical journals!
You are an awful person. You must need to get some party invitations from Jill or LouAnn.
Bethenny was nt at all authentic, she was just showing off that she is trying to cool it off with Jill. If you really want to apologise, then why do you make nasty comments when you talk, i cant remember the exact words, she was using insincere words, like one from previous episode when she said when your husband was sick, then you wouldnt be running around doing these kinda things, those are unacceptable words and lack dignity, she has to learn how to talk before she writes books.
I only got about a third of the way thru this to realize we are watching two different shows. I won't be bookmarking this site for any recaps.
I,m so upset with the going on,s between Jill and Bethany !! Jill is so not nice !! grow up and sit down with Bethany. Lock the countess out and maybe you two can speak privately... Jill has some nerve saying money isnt everything ! sure, thats easy to say when Bobby brings home the big bucks.. Bethany was trying to get established and poor Jill felt left out. Bethany should ease up on herself, this is a time for her and her new husband to enjoy the blessing thats on the way.Keep your head up Bethany, you did nothing wrong.
I too, am appalled at Jill's behavior.I agree with anyone who says she is jealous of Betheny. Luann has always impressed me as being completely self involved and off the charts impressed with herself. That, and she is incredibly rude and classless.
Anyone who makes an actual list of grievances is someone to truly avoid....this points to mental illness and I am afraid that Jill has shown a terrible side of herself this season. She is getting a lot of mileage out of this, but I am afraid it is all blowing up in her face after last week. I won't be buying her book.....or Luann's.
I am really impressed with Alex and hope that they keep her on the show. Letting her go would be a big mistake because she brings humanity to the show. She's really grown on me.
Ramona......that is a two day conference on crazy. She is a horrible person and appears to be the person she said her father was.
After this week, I am considering letting this show and Orange County off my list of things to watch......too much bickering and not enough humanity.
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