15 Things We May Finally Find Out About Kate Gosselin in Her New Series Twist of Kate

catkate.jpg

Kate Gosselin is once again contracted to hide in plain sight from inevitable obscurity. The eight-time mom and million-time tabloid target is slated to star in the new TLC series Twist of Kate, in which Gosselin "visits the homes and workplaces of women facing personal challenges, where she will exchange insights for living." Kate Plus Eight will also return with a series of specials, TLC reports. Sounds like we're in for a couple dozen episodes of Kate-birthed revelations, begging the question: What questions do we need answered about the domestic darling? Here's 15 for starters; contribute your own suggestions in the comments.

1. If her self-doubting inner voices sound like a shelved rap demo by Christian Audiger.

2. Her input on a VH1 miniseries ranking The 100 Greatest Gosselins of the '90s.

3. If she considers turncoat Aunt Jody's parenting comments "the most inorganic marshmallow fluff of all."

4. The odyssey of self-discovery that led to her first (and so far only) Pooh Bear tattoo.

5. If she'd attend Jon Gosselin's career-turnaround gig as a drummer in a 311 cover band with lead guitarist Vili Fualaau.

6. If she considers herself "more than a little psychic"

7. If in her darkest moments, she gets jarringly Unitarian

8. If she considers the Dugger household's headcount "a bit baroque"

9. Which stars she'd prefer to date on her next TLC series, A Kate with Destiny

10. If she has the interviewing skills to grill the potential stars of the inevitable Kate Gosselin Lifetime movie. (Expect cameos from Judith Light, Audrina Patridge, and Meryl Streep here.)

11. If she's even seen an R-rated movie

12. If it was brilliant maternal insight that led her naming the fussiest Gosselin "Mady."

13. If ABC's contract stipulations require her only to "Saunter Lifelessly A Few Yards from the Stars."

14. If she can fill a sixth Today Show hour with suspicions about juice-box factories.

15. How much money (or what kind of contract for a multi-DVD self-help series) it would take for her to disappear

· Kate Gosselin gets new TLC show [Globe and Mail]



Comments

Post a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s