United States of Tara Smackdown: Is it Cheating When You Have Multiple Personalities?

Last time we saw Tara, she was cheering up thanks to an Air Supply jam session in her neighbor's suicide house. She had not told her family that Buck had been hijacking her body to woo a sweet bartender named Pammy (Joey Lauren Adams), hoping her male alter would recede back into her subconscious. But as we learned in last night's episode, "The Truth Hurts," Pammy and Buck are not going away anytime soon, and if anyone tries to get between them, Buck, the hardened Vietnam vet who shows his affection by cutting his lady's toenails and replacing her water jug, will throw down with anyone, including Tara. After the jump, Movieline assesses the damage from last night's match.

Round One: Impersonating Buck

After realizing that Buck has been taking over her body a few hours each day, Tara takes matters into her own hands by breaking up with Pammy.

Risks: Breaking Pammy's heart and inspiring a public declaration of love by Buck's spurned girlfriend in front of Tara's family.

Outcome: When Tara enters Pammy's apartment and sees how much time the pair has been spending together, thanks to a Fun World caricature, Tara complains of a stress headache ("It's like a gang of elves in there with jackhammers.") and for a second there, seems like she will transition into an alter but doesn't. Instead Tara explains her disorder ("Have you seen Sybil? It's like that."), hugs Pammy and leaves.

Winning Personality: Tara

Round Two: Skating Rink Showdown

Feeling freed from the clutches of Buck and Pammy's relationship, Tara suggests the family have some fun at the local skating rink.

Risks: Disco ice-dancing related injury, humiliation unrelated to dissociative identity disorder.

Outcome: Pammy tails Tara to the rink, breaks into the DJ's booth, cuts off "Get Down On It" and proclaims her love for Buck over the loudspeaker: "Buck, I love you. I love you. I was up all night thinking about you and us and finally I just said f*ck it. The past few weeks have been the best ones of my life. I love you for who you really are. Buck, Tara, all of you." Max storms out, nearly back-ending a pair of hockey players with his truck.

Winning Personality: No one.

Overall Score: Tara: 1, Buck: 0

Other Topics Bravely Explored in Last Night's Tara:

· Where the word for women's private parts came from ("Why did God call it a 'vagina?' Why didn't he call it something cute and French?" -- Charmaine)

· Little-known sexual positions ("Seriously, what does 'dogs in a bathtub' mean?" -- Marshall)

· One-semester lesbians ("I was a LUG -- Lesbian Until Graduation. It was only for one semester." -- Charmaine)



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