22.214.171.124 Trailer Promises the Year's Best Emma Roberts Lesbian Diamond Heist Flick
I'm a little late getting to this extraordinary trailer for the thriller 126.96.36.199, which, at a glance, seems to be much more of a British phenomenon than anything Americans would get too carried away with. But a closer look reveals a number of factors that make the new film by young U.K. actor/writer/director Noel Clarke an international breakthrough waiting to happen. I mean, how can you say no to a movie promising lipstick lesbians, a diamond heist, Emma Roberts threatening to kill someone and Kevin Smith -- on an airplane! -- all in one insane place? Click through for the mildly NSFW goods.
When it comes to the Trailer Randomness scale of 1-10 -- 1 being the rote boredom of something like Invictus and 10 being, well, this -- 188.8.131.52 has few compunctions about bundling a slick, nonsensical package for maximum disorientation. Never mind that you have no real idea what's going on except that we've globetrotted from Antwerp to New York to London in about 10 seconds flat, and everything that follows involves a quartet of attractive young women doing sexy, sexy things while young men brood criminally within a few yards of them. That's Clarke himself warning Roberts's store clerk, "Oim wotchin' you," to which she issues the cutting rejoinder, "I'm watching _you_I" Burn, right? Then more brooding, some sneering... and then the serious WTF-ery begins.
There's the vulnerable girl with a past, the face-smacking girl with an attitude, the head-whacking screamy girl, and then Roberts, all apparently plotting to break in on a diamond scheme and take no prisoners while doing so. It wouldn't really be enough for them to just get over on the guys, however; this mission requires some serious sapphic leisure time, whether smooching, spooning or just general bonding while stepping on a guy's cheek. A virtually incidental black pouch of diamonds makes the rounds as well, which apparently everyone wants but nobody really has the attention span for amid all this quick-cutting carnality and overlit pseudo-grit.
To say nothing of what looks like the cameo of the decade: a timely bit of social commentary placing Kevin Smith -- yes, that Kevin Smith, "too fat to fly" Kevin Smith -- happily in a single airplane seat. What he's doing here, I have no idea, and really, I don't even care. All I know is that 184.108.40.206 had better get on a trans-Atlantic flight of its own for a visit to the United States. This looks astounding, and anyway, if we're going to lend the British our toilet-shattering pariahs, the least they could do is let us see the finished product. Release date, please?