In Memoriam: American Idol Loser Didi Benami
As Tim Urban enjoyed another three-minute bath in elimination lighting during last night's Idol, our beleaguered Princess Toadstool -- the lovely Didi Benami -- stood by his side as Seacrest announced she was the lowest vote-getter. A stirring performance of "Rhiannon" wasn't enough to save the Los Angeles waitress, and Simon reluctantly flushed her down a CBS Television City urinal. You may have caught on to my slight Didi adoration over the past few weeks. Hehe. I'm sure I'll be fine. Let's give her a stately eulogy after the jump. Spoiler: Caps Lock approaching.
Let's Get My Capitalized Feelings Out of the Way: WHAT. WHAT. NO. NO, GOD. NOT MY EMOTIONALLY FRACTURED "MEET VIRGINIA" WAITRESS OF PASSION. NO. NO, INDEEDY, DIDI. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WIN THIS WITH CRYSTAL BOWERSOX AND START UP A WHISTLESTOP SALOON WHERE YOU GIRLS CAN SIT ON A PORCH, WATCH THE TRAINS PASS, AND SING SONGS ABOUT TRAILS. AHEHHHH. CUT THE TAPE. THE TAPE ON MY THROAT.
My Gorgon Rage Continued, Plus Quibbles About Fairness and Katie Stevens' Dumb Face: Now that the outrage is over, this bears repeating: Below-average knee-slider Tim Urban is still crooning for our texts. Michael Lynche is still churning out Heffalump stage actions and feeling all James Brown about it. And Didi Bemani, an exceptional vocalist, is out. And what about Katie Stevens's dumb face? So dumb.
reinvigorating invigorating our faith in Kara DioGuardi's competence with an acoustic version of the songwriter panelist's "Terrified," Didi went on to chirp, warble, and meow her way into becoming a contemporary, mayonnaise-lite version of Rickie Lee Jones. Her takes on "Play With Fire," "Rhiannon," "The Way I Am" and "You're No Good" shimmered with bleats, brass and vulnerability. She emanated the kind of fragility you associate with... well, things that bawl and almost break in half when you tell them to stop singing Bill Withers tunes. Cheer up, you cat in the dark!
What Could've Been: A woozy foray into psychedelia with "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" during next week's Lennon/McCartney episode. A "We are Family" church basement stompalong during Disco Week. An attempt at dirtying her face with permanent markers and sidewalk chalk in order to "stay current" and resemble Ke$ha during Boys Trynna Touch My Junk week.
We Already Miss: Her squabbles with the judges. Her ability to overthink song choices. The tranquilizer dart she embedded in her side before performing "You're No Good." Her actual talent.
Closing Remarks: Didi, I'm bereft. You were a fine challenger, a sincere vocalist and a self-aware artist. But maybe winning would've compelled you to shed the hardest Zoloft-shaped tears of all, and we all know little Aaron Kelly couldn't ford those rapids in his little Mouse Detective outfit. For the safety of everyone here (and for the sake of your own sanity, which is its own unpredictable character actress), we bid you adieu.