James Cameron Apologizes For Writing The 'Awesomest' Movie Of All Time -- Sorry!
I researched the Na'vi before signing on for the movie to be sure that I wasn't making anything that would indoctrinate people into a tree-worshipping cult. I sat in on that weird thing they do where everyone in the tribe sits around in a circle and sways back and forth. You're supposed to reach union with the Tree of Souls (another damn tree!). I never did, but I was bored, so I told them I had a vision of Eywa. "What did she say?!" they asked, excitedly. "Pull my finger," was my response. They stared at me blankly. They were unfamiliar with human flatulence jokes.
Even after all my crass behavior, the Na'vi loved me (still starstruck about Titanic, I'm sure. Everyone is), so I agreed that their story would be my next movie.
I met with my old pals Jim Gianopulos and Tom Rothman at Fox and told them what's what. They, of course, loved it, because no one says sh*t to me. I tell them what I'm going to do, then I go do it. I wrote the first draft of the script in a few days of fevered, inspired creativity. Soon after I finished it, Eytukan called, told me he "loved it," and wanted to have dinner. At dinner, he said again and how much he loved it and called it the "Schindler's List of sci-fi." "Schindler's List can blow me," I told him right back. "And so can Spielberg."
Shortly after that, Eytukan officially attached himself as executive producer. Whatever, it's just a title, I threw him a bone. Fox came to me with a $100 million budget (haha!), which I rejected, because we're talking $300 mil easy. Maybe all the way up to $500 million! I got studio notes that were typical studio notes. Nothing too crazy. Still, I threw them out, as I always do.
Then I got another batch of notes. I thought it was a joke. I knew these notes, like all notes, would kill the movie. The notes said that there are no flying dragons on Pandora, nor six-legged horses (just four-legged ones -- a horse is just a horse, even there), and they'd never been invaded by humans. They actually love humans. I asked Tom and Jim where the notes had come from. "From us." But when I pressed them. they said, "From Eytukan, but we agree with them."
I refused to incorporate the notes. Nothing happened, because no one in this town has the balls to stand up to me. It's hard to argue with a billion-plus domestic before a word of Avatar was even written.
I have no idea why they wanted to take the movie in a disastrous, factual direction, but here's what I heard from someone in Eytukan's camp: They wanted a movie that accurately reflected their proud culture. You know what? Their culture is f*cking boring. They're just giant, blue, tree-hugging hippies. There's no movie without greedy corporations and the military trying to run roughshod over their planet in their search for "unobtanium" (from the Latin, "that which is hard to obtain" -- I love cool-sounding old words), and all the badass robot exoskeletons and spaceships and helicopters and whatnot. And explosions, huge f*cking explosions. In 3-D. And then the Na'vi's plucky, improbable victory of the much more advanced human aggressors. Have these people never even seen a movie?
So now, looking back at Avatar with fresh eyes, and after having watched it shatter all worldwide box office records with amazing speed, I can't help but be proud of it. Because out of all the awesome movies, mine is the awesomest. I don't care if they gave the Oscar to my ex-wife's movie that made about twelve dollars. It's a nice little film, don't get me wrong. But: twelve dollars.
In the end, did the Pandorans get me laid? What do you think? Yes, I'm married, but I explained it away to Suzy as "research." How could I write a movie with all sorts of hot Na'vi sex without having tried it myself? Exactly. And now I'm trying to figure out a way to sell Na'vi braids so everyone can experience it for themselves. I'll make a mint!
The Greatest of All Time,
Jim Cameron"
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Comments
Brilliant!
hahaha $12 his ex wife earned,i think the highest groossing movie should win since people voted with their wallets what they liked best.
So Cameron also went back in time like the Terminator and released Titanic three years earlier, in 1994? He really is the Greatest of All Time!
Titanic was made in 1997, not in 1994.
Other than that mistake, this is ABSOLUTELY brilliant! I laughed a lot 🙂
Yeah, I caught that 1994 typo straight away too. And that's what tipped me off that this whole article was bogus!
You have a real talent. Keep posting and keep us all updated.
You are in your right to criticize a movie or even a person, but please when you do have some style, some dignity, and don't put words on others people mouth. It's just not right.
You are in your right to criticize a movie or even a person, but please when you do have some style, some dignity, and don't put words on others people mouth. It's just not right.
I truly love films I weren't able to really live without...
Hilarious! I didn't see the 1994 error, but I knew it was bogus from the writing style. Someone as intelligent as James Cameron wouldn't talk like that, or make a statement that immature. Even in it's immaturity, though, I do find this article amusing.
The Avatar is actually a 'Have to watch' motion picture, ground breaking, and also astonishing photo . I think it will likely be considered by almost all cinema goers as an additional milestone in the past of the artwork. The level of realism obtained is impressive, and despite the fact that the movie is relatively lengthy in real time, it holds it's exhilaration and holds the audience's focus to the conclusion.Performances are great, but it's not the kind of movie that dwells on significant superstar significance to the actresses, although Sigorney Weaver really does shine and gives an extremely authentic performance, as do the rest of the cast. But as there's a whole lot leisure and actions value on display screen the human being element won't dominate inside the usual way.
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