5 Medal-Winning Moments from Last Night's Celebrity Apprentice

You have to hand it to these Olympic-size fools: The contestants on Celebrity Apprentice pad the show's 120-minute runtime with enough self-doubt, theories about Cyndi Lauper's medicine cabinet and idiocy to make this schmaltz kamikaze bearable. Last night, medal-decorated athletes Summer Sanders and Michael Johnson led their teams in campaigns against identity theft (worst challenge ever, by the way), but the No. 1 moment of the night has nothing to do their middling Powerpoint presentations. Quick, pile in after the jump before Don Trump Jr. slicks you into his gelatinous 'do, compromising your identity forever.


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5. Darryl Strawberry wants to get the hell out of here once every 10 times you ask.

Trump: "Darryl, do you want to leave the competition? You don't deserve to go."

Strawberry: "I'm here for my team."

Trump: "Darryl, do you want to leave the competition? You don't deserve to go."

Strawberry: "No, I don't want to go. Michael did a great job."

Trump: "Darryl, do you want to leave the competition? You don't deserve to go."

Strawberry: "Yes, in a cannon, please!"

And so it was. What an awkward, senseless boardroom deliberation. Darryl had no chance of winning, but Lady Robinson-Peete correctly noted that ditching his charity was a stupid decision. It's not the kind of attitude that hangs well with Mr. Cooper.


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4. Summer Sanders breaststrokes through the tears

You'd be a dear and an imbecile not to have recognized early on that Summer had this challenge in the bag. Her delegation skills? Her ability to make Cyndi leave the decision-making area and enter traffic? Her infinitely more believable advertorial? All top-notch. When she wept after winning the challenge, we all knew the secret slime action was "a job well done."


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3. Sharon Osbourne is an old-timey detective, and the classy dame that entered her office is your identity.

Her ad campaign was a stunner, but it was also hilarious. "Ozzy! Let me take your motherf*cking case!" Enjoy.

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Comments

  • Edward says:

    I honestly thought bret would was going to be fired the first day, but he surprised me. well done

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