Five Guesses About the Top Secret Plot of Paranormal Activity 2

Earlier today, we noted that Paranormal Activity 2 had found a new director, Tod "Kip" Williams, allowing the sequel to the most successful haunted bedroom movie of all time to proceed full-steam ahead. Shortly thereafter on the Paranormal Activity website, producer Oren Peli posted an official announcement of Williams' selection, ending with this tantalizing bit: "I don't want to spoil the story but I promise it'll surprise you. Stay tuned." This, it seems, is an open invitation to start wildly speculating about PA2's premise. And so we will! After the jump, our five best guesses about the set-up for the next round of pants-soiling thrills Paramount will deliver.

Paranormal Activity 2: Room 222

Finding herself in the hospital to treat her sudden, mysterious fainting spells, Jenna starts to feels a malevolent presence in her room. Though constantly at her bedside, Matt laughs off her silly fears about "ghosts" and "demons." After one too many arguments, he agrees to set up his video camera in the room to dispel the idea once and for all that strange things are happening around Jenna as she sleeps. The videotape eventually discovered by a panicked nurse in an empty, ransacked room tells a chilling tale of fluttering room-separator curtains, a TV that turns itself on in the middle of the night, and a skeptical boyfriend beaten to death with a bedpan by his possessed sweetheart.

Paranormal Activity 2: More Beds

Mary and Don, two engaged, attractive twentysomething salespeople in the Macy's beddings department, pledge to spend a month sleeping at the store to disprove the ghost stories of their co-workers. The first few nights of reviewing the footage from security cameras turn up nothing, but eventually they start to notice the other beds in the showroom are mysteriously making and unmaking themselves. The couple is eventually smothered by a haunted duvet.

Paranormal Activity 2: Dorm Room

UCLA freshmen Cody and Bennett fight daily over who's drinking all the beers in the mini fridge and eating all the ramen; tired of denying his culpability, Cody suggests they leave one of their MacBook webcams running all night to catch the thief in the act. What follows is a document of the most chilling haunting in collegiate history, with an unseen entity taking over both roomies and leading them to a grisly demise. The webcam footage of the two teens settling a supernaturally heated argument over the comparative greatness of Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews by brutally slashing each other with shards of an angrily shattered bong will have campus audiences cringing with delight.

Paranomal Activity 2: Houseboat

Stressed yuppies Bobby and Amber decide to live out a dream to simplify their lives by moving into a houseboat. During their first night on the boat, Amber admits that ever since she was a little girl, she's been harassed by some kind of evil spirit; though it hasn't troubled her in a long time, something about this houseboat makes her feel its presence. Video camera, yada yada yada, Bobby's being dragged off the boat by this ankles and drowned in the bay.

Paranormal Activity 2: Campout

Student filmmakers Heidi and Jake venture out into the wilderness to shoot a documentary about a demon-witch that local urban legend claims haunts the woods outside their town. Through the shaky lens of their camera, we see the increasingly scared adventurers come across more and more terrifying evidence of haunting all around their campsite: demonic stick-figures made of branches, mysterious piles of stones and inexplicable noises all around them. After days of fear-induced fighting, they're lured into a creepy old house, where they're murdered by the "Paranormal Activity Witch." Their camera is found a year later buried underneath that very house.

What? Oh. Whatever. It's totally different.



Comments

  • FrancoisTrueFaux says:

    With Paranormal Activity 2: Dorm Room, you just described half the film school thesis projects of this year.

  • Martini Shark says:

    We'll get more dramatic footage of Jenna creepily standing for hours -- until we learn it is a security video from a Golden Coral and she is just waiting for the new prime rib to be brought out from the kitchen.

  • pipper st.louis says:

    PA2- do we really need it-hours of drivel--but i sort of figured there would be a 2. the only excitement in 1 was the dragging from bed and the Alternative ending- did not even watch the real intended ending. So PA 2 -house sold- cleaned out in daylight only by family members. New prospective buyers never know what happened. A buyer says yes, remodels and finds hidden items (maybe by the former tenants that tell a story--) Such as the burnt Quija board, thrownout taped scenes from past tenants, witchcraft and demon books. Better yet- the "Dr." they were waiting for to come back to town to help them- gets there months later to find the new tenants and talks them into checking out the place before they move in- and spends a few nights and is never found again- they think he came and went. They move in- then they find out after hauntings and such and finding his hidden logs-that he actually found the entrance to Hell in the pool-and was taken there by the hungry demon whom intends to keep doing this till PA3 comes and goes and PA4 comes and goes- remembering each time that he /she is getting stronger with each new soul and lifes ruined till PA5 is "The Final Showdown" sometime in 2014 or 2015 where the big-guns are pulled out to bring in top major Hollywood actors to portray the demon snatchers/killers. That my friends is a BlockBuster in waiting!! lol-- st.louis

  • Kevin says:

    That's absurd.
    Dave Matthews is way more legendary.

  • Dubfire says:

    Tiesto is amazing. I think the best tune he has is just be. I went to see him in amsterdam. I wish he came out singles like that. He is the best i have ever

  • The only idea worth anything was the first. I like the whole hospital idea and it fits with the first movie well.
    The second is kinda lame to be honest and doesn't seem logical. I doubt even the best screenwriters could pull this off...effectively.
    The third one sounds like every other 'college slasher flick'.
    The Fourth sounds just like the first movie except on a boat and they are rich. That is the problem with most GOOD movies. They find a formula that worked and try to recreate it and FAIL both artistically and anemically.
    The fifth one sounds like 'The Blair Witch Project'. This brings me back to the previous point, which is when we find a formula we stick with it. It is just a bad idea.
    -Cheers,
    Derek

  • anonymous says:

    Derek, either you obviously misunderstand irony, or your post is also ironic, in which case well done.

  • Joy Wygal says:

    Difference between baby food grinder and a food mill.. one has the word baby in it, so naive people will probably pay more for it just because the word baby is in it. Honestly, all you really need is a regular old food processor. That way it has the opening at the top to stream in water or formula, however you want to dilute the food. As far as steaming food goes, the way I steam any food is .. Put a saucepan/pot half full of water on a stove burner. Let it come to a boil. Set a metal colander on the saucepan/pot with the food inside that is still whole, or at least cut up, but not mashed up. If you can find a lid to loosely cover the colander, then put a lid on top. I usually use the lid that goes with my big stock pot. Then you let it steam cook for 10 minutes or so.

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