Five Guesses About the Top Secret Plot of Paranormal Activity 2
Earlier today, we noted that Paranormal Activity 2 had found a new director, Tod "Kip" Williams, allowing the sequel to the most successful haunted bedroom movie of all time to proceed full-steam ahead. Shortly thereafter on the Paranormal Activity website, producer Oren Peli posted an official announcement of Williams' selection, ending with this tantalizing bit: "I don't want to spoil the story but I promise it'll surprise you. Stay tuned." This, it seems, is an open invitation to start wildly speculating about PA2's premise. And so we will! After the jump, our five best guesses about the set-up for the next round of pants-soiling thrills Paramount will deliver.
Paranormal Activity 2: Room 222
Finding herself in the hospital to treat her sudden, mysterious fainting spells, Jenna starts to feels a malevolent presence in her room. Though constantly at her bedside, Matt laughs off her silly fears about "ghosts" and "demons." After one too many arguments, he agrees to set up his video camera in the room to dispel the idea once and for all that strange things are happening around Jenna as she sleeps. The videotape eventually discovered by a panicked nurse in an empty, ransacked room tells a chilling tale of fluttering room-separator curtains, a TV that turns itself on in the middle of the night, and a skeptical boyfriend beaten to death with a bedpan by his possessed sweetheart.
Paranormal Activity 2: More Beds
Mary and Don, two engaged, attractive twentysomething salespeople in the Macy's beddings department, pledge to spend a month sleeping at the store to disprove the ghost stories of their co-workers. The first few nights of reviewing the footage from security cameras turn up nothing, but eventually they start to notice the other beds in the showroom are mysteriously making and unmaking themselves. The couple is eventually smothered by a haunted duvet.
Paranormal Activity 2: Dorm Room
UCLA freshmen Cody and Bennett fight daily over who's drinking all the beers in the mini fridge and eating all the ramen; tired of denying his culpability, Cody suggests they leave one of their MacBook webcams running all night to catch the thief in the act. What follows is a document of the most chilling haunting in collegiate history, with an unseen entity taking over both roomies and leading them to a grisly demise. The webcam footage of the two teens settling a supernaturally heated argument over the comparative greatness of Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews by brutally slashing each other with shards of an angrily shattered bong will have campus audiences cringing with delight.
Paranomal Activity 2: Houseboat
Stressed yuppies Bobby and Amber decide to live out a dream to simplify their lives by moving into a houseboat. During their first night on the boat, Amber admits that ever since she was a little girl, she's been harassed by some kind of evil spirit; though it hasn't troubled her in a long time, something about this houseboat makes her feel its presence. Video camera, yada yada yada, Bobby's being dragged off the boat by this ankles and drowned in the bay.
Paranormal Activity 2: Campout
Student filmmakers Heidi and Jake venture out into the wilderness to shoot a documentary about a demon-witch that local urban legend claims haunts the woods outside their town. Through the shaky lens of their camera, we see the increasingly scared adventurers come across more and more terrifying evidence of haunting all around their campsite: demonic stick-figures made of branches, mysterious piles of stones and inexplicable noises all around them. After days of fear-induced fighting, they're lured into a creepy old house, where they're murdered by the "Paranormal Activity Witch." Their camera is found a year later buried underneath that very house.
What? Oh. Whatever. It's totally different.