New on DVD and Blu-ray: Carny

"The freak show has come to our town and it's full of nothing but sinners and evil!" the generic small-town pastor who hates fun proclaimed. "Hallelujah!" responded the one African American woman in the movie. "I'm going to investigate this peculiar carnival!" said sheriff Lou Diamond Phillips. "I knew you'd say that," said the good-hearted psychic. "Rooooaar!" said the mythical Jersey Devil that escaped from its cage and wreaks havoc. There, I just spared you the trouble of having to watch Carny, the SyFy original movie that's part of the Maneater Series of made-for-tv horror films.

This is a movie where the beastly antagonist is so strong and so fictional that it doesn't respond to tranquilizer darts, can bust its way out of locked steel cages, and it has the ability to run, fly and shift its size to the best of its CGI abilities. The film's ridiculousness is what makes it barely tolerable -- although, to be fair, when else will you ever see a Ferris Wheel used as a deadly weapon? An entire Ferris Wheel, people. Points for originality.

The film, releasing on DVD on March 23, is typical SyFy Channel fare and exactly the kind of movie someone on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! would star in. (Not that, uh, I watched that show. Whatever. Don't judge. Lou won that show, by the way.) There are no extras on the DVD, however if you do watch the film, stick with it for the long haul for an extra, mind-blowing musical performance of the original song "Pray For Dawn," written and performed by Phillips. "La Bamba" it ain't.

Buyer, Renter or Coaster? Coaster. As in "roller."

Amazon DVD Price: $13.49