American Idol Recap: Who Had the Best Stones?
Forcing past stomach butterflies is apparently a difficult trick on American Idol. The more fortunate performers conquered their nerves for "Rolling Stones Week" and emulated Mick Jagger by strutting, rooster-dancing, Tyler Grady-conjuring, and daring to sing. Their success was sometimes so grand that Johnny Depp threatened to base his next film character on a kooky old coot somewhere in the room. Hide, Lacey Brown! We rank the night's renditions one by one -- with helpful visual aids -- after the jump.
12. Tim Urban, "Under My Thumb"
I was just thinking about how misogyny needed a Caribbean beat. Our man McFly pulled through with his easygoing, hilarious version of the Stones' he-man-woman-hating hit.
11. Katie Stevens, "Wild Horses"
Katie Stevens made her Top 12 debut with a razzle-dazzle combo of conventional singing and a first Communion gown. Very Madonna! Except so, so not. For being 16 years old, Katie's performances always ring of "old mare." You can't just have a hit with a Diane Warren record anymore, Katie. Try out again 10 years ago.
10. Michael Lynche, "Miss You
Who can handle the unanimous shilling for Mike Lynche? Far as I can tell, he just adopts a Maurice Gibb falsetto and stomps around like a no-good baby genius from a later Dom DeLuise picture. The artistic integrity isn't there! And his wife refuses to update us on the width of her cervix, so I can't guarantee there's a thing to care about here.