The 12 Dumbest Comments to Date from This Season's American Idol Judges
We've survived three weeks of live Idol shows, and we have interesting artifacts to show for it: a front-runner in Crystal Bowersox, a lucky holdout in Tim Urban, and some of the stupidest comments ever from Ryan Seacrest's quartet of justices. Whether it was Simon Cowell, Ellen DeGeneres, Kara DioGuardi, or Randy Jackson, someone always managed to burgle the turd, reference the wrong song, call a piano a guitar, or invent new ways to spread idiocy. But who gave us the dumbest comment of them all? Our winner may surprise you -- with a poetic quote about "reality."
The Comment: "You set the bar so high with the Paula Abdul song. That's the problem. We're always going to be disappointed, because that was such a great song."
Spoken to: Andrew Garcia, after his performance of James Morrison's "You Give Me Something"
Pitch Problem: Ellen tried to sound either incisive or inoffensive here, and neither occurred. To this day, the judges treat Andrew Garcia's Hollywood Week version of "Straight Up" like an acoustic revelation. Sure, Garcia made the song fun and urgent, but it was a gimmick -- and therefore not 100% fabulous. When Ellen said he'd always disappoint now that "Straight Up" is just a memory, she generalized his body of work and his entire future on the show. She should've saved the unwitting meanness for his take on "Genie in a Bottle."
The Comment: "I completely misunderestimated you from last week."
Spoken to: Crystal Bowersox, after her performance of Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Long As I Can See the Light"
Pitch Problem: That's not a word. Heh.
The Comment: "So the one with the most potential, to answer your question, is Paige."
Spoken to: Katelyn Epperly and Paige Miles, as both faced elimination.
Pitch Problem: Katelyn Epperly reinvented Coldplay's "The Scientist," dug into Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move," and respectably trilled The Beatles' "Oh! Darling." That's quite a range. And she's got a powerful voice to match. Paige Miles's renditions of "All Right Now," "Walk Away," and "Smile" are nondescript exercises in underachievement. Simon's insistence that Miles, his onetime favorite, fared better than Epperly seemed utterly unqualified.