Spencer Pratt Leaving The Hills to 'Fight Cyber Crime,' For Some Reason
Things are getting weird, guys! Hot on the heels of Heidi Montag's announcement that she has fired husband Spencer Pratt as her manager and replaced him with a psychic, Pratt has announced that he has fired himself from The Hills (because that is how it works in TV) in order to...fight cyber crime. I know, I'm rolling my eyes at this one too, but according to People, he's been studying software engineering with a focus on encryption all this time at USC. So maybe this is a real thing? I'm not sure what to believe until I see the staged paparazzi photoshoot with Spencer (dressed in sensible grays) gesticulating wildly at a copy of Norton Antivirus that Heidi is clutching to her enhanced bosom.
Here's the full, wild statement from Spencer:
"In the last few months I have discovered a new passion and new purpose to my life. With this in mind, I have decided to take a break from my obligations to MTV's The Hills and discontinue filming any more episodes for this current season."
Upon learning of President Obama's declaration that the 'cyber threat is one of the most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation,' I have decided to refocus my energy and devote my full resources to helping America face this and other unprecedented challenges.
My new mission is this: To do my part in maintaining the technological superiority of the U.S. military and prevent emerging technologies from threatening our nation's security.
With that being said, I am saddened to take this break from filming MTV's The Hills. At this time, however I feel I would not be honoring my country or myself if I were to continue this endeavor when I have the opportunity and the ability to assist our nation against these prevalent threats."
OK, so which comes first: 1) MTV sues Pratt for not finishing the remainder of his season, or 2) We find out that Spencer and Heidi really are satirical characters written by author Bret Easton Ellis like in that movie Stranger Than Fiction? Place your bets!