American Idol Recap: This Woman's Work(ing My Last Nerve)

American Idol's surviving ("competing" seems like an overstatement) eight dudes ripped through enough country jams and fossilized ballads to fill your average 4 a.m. infomercial. Unfortunately, these dudes couldn't sell anything. Let's rank these jank caterwaulers from #8-1.

8. Andrew Garcia: "Genie in a Bottle"

To my ears, "Genie in a Bottle" was not only a wretched choice, but an indication that Andrew Garcia doesn't belong in the competition. It's sort of unfair that the judges constantly reference his "Straight Up" performance from Hollywood Week when his "Sugar We're Going Down" from the Top 24 was also serviceable, but they needed to pitch a Jermaine Sellers-size fit for this one. The choice of the Christina Aguilera ditty was pure kitsch, a total gimmick meant to recall the fluffy "Straight Up"s acoustic treatment. At this point, Garcia is forfeiting his artistic identity and just pandering -- which made this whole performance even grosser (and sadder) than it already was. Rubbed me the wrong way, indeed.

7. Aaron Kelly: "I'm Already There"

Clarification: Aaron Kelly is not more talented than Andrew Garcia. In fact, his only chance at winning the competition is if he squints, contorts, and figures out how to resemble a Bowersox dreadlock. But the boy does have a shred of an identity, even if its "Bingo Night country entertainer at a rest home." His "I'm Already There" should solidify his gig there. Though I admit: I kinda dig his paralyzed-James-Brown stage presence.

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  • getbacktowork says:

    louis, i just might love you... agree on everything, except i kinda like mullet boy. yes, he's awkward, but still like him. mostly, i love you for hating kara. what? you didn't say hate? well, i'm going to think you meant that... what's the deal with her trying to hang with the popular kids and loving up simon this season? she's also acting too good for ellen- like the senior class snot who just made it to the popular kids' table and won't look at her old friends. can't stand her.

  • Louis Virtel says:

    You bring up an excellent point with the high-school condescension. It completely undercuts her attempts to be empathetic. And the stuff with Simon is... well, gross and sad. She's under the impression that she's the most entertaining part of the show, and that level of delusion makes her the new Mark David Chapman.

  • OldTowneTavern says:

    I couldn't look. I heard in advance of my West coast feed, that Andrew whored himself out, what with the Rubbing the Right Way, and I just couldn't look. I, too loved what he did with Paula and Maroon 5. I saw his stuff with his friends on Youtube. I know he has good songs in him, and I hate to see that he hasn't done a damn thing worthwhile in... forever. I still have hopes, though. I have to. If he goes, all I have left is Bowersox. Well, I suppose I could just ff to her stuff, vote and avoid everything else from now on. Hey, things are looking up!

  • Pierre says:

    I loved Michael Lynch's rendition of "This Woman's Work".

  • Lynche owned the night in my opinion. This is shaping up to be a pretty good season - lots have said that this season just isn't as exciting as last but I'm enjoying the competition. There are no "weirdos" like Adam Lambert, but I think the overall talent level is up this year.