Making News Out of Nothing at All: Mission Impossible Edition

Some stories have more staying power than others in this lightning-fast news cycle of ours, and Tuesday's "Sumner Redstone is Dating Tom Cruise" is one of them. Behind-the-curve apologies are due to you and to its writer Roger "Scoopy" Friedman, who has the stunning inner workings of a deal that was begun, oh, last June and consummated almost a month ago. To wit, "Cruise and Katie Holmes, mother of Suri, were seen once again dining with Redstone over the weekend." Wha-wha-whaaat? Insert urgent Morse Code sound effects here -- and keep it going, because there's more!

So what are Tom and Sumner talking about on all these "dates"? They don't have a lot in common. Redstone is Jewish, almost 87 years old and from Boston. His father, a nightclub owner, was a business associate of Barbara Walters' father, Lou. Tom is a Catholic turned Scientologist, 47, and from an itinerant family that settled in Missouri. It's unlikely Redstone's interested in hearing about L. Ron Hubbard and space aliens. It's equally doubtful that Tom wants to hear stories from Boston in the 1940s. If they're sketching out the plot for M:I 4, someone had better tell Paramount's Brad Grey.

This concludes this test of Friedman Emergency Broadcast System. I don't really have any way of ending my story either, so... yes. Please tell Brad Grey. And probably alert Holmes, too, in case she wants to hire a private investigator or start packing or something.

· Sumner Redstone is Dating Tom Cruise [Showbiz 411]



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