12 Other Things the Title of Sundance Bomb Twelve Might Refer To

The Amount of Times Someone Says, "You're Firstname Lastname!"

You will never forget what anyone in this film is called because the other characters will explicitly remind each other. "You're Sara Ludlow, the most popular girl in school!" they'll exclaim to her face. "You're White Mike, the class drug dealer!" they'll shout as Mike walks past them. It's as though they're writing the back cover of a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

The Number of Calls Emma Roberts Made to Her Agent...

...asking, "Why did you book me this thankless love interest role? Just so I could finally use the f-word onscreen?"

The Amount of Portentous Sword-Focused Scenes

I believe it was Chekhov who said, "If you show an angry character buying a sword in the first act, then have him practicing with said sword in roughly eleven more scenes, it must be paid off in the third act." I believe it was Joel Schumacher who said, "Let's have the sword guy shoot everyone with a gun at the end."

The Number of Dollars Given (via PayPal) to the IMDb User Who Wrote the Following:

"The insight into teenagers, especially the rich, stands unrivaled...The five million dollar budget which this film was made on, and the twenty-three day's in which it was shot, proves the genius of everyone working on it. And when the cast and crew stood on stage at the end to answer questions, i felt the need to clap till my hands bled."

The Amount of Lines Given to the Narrator that Simply Don't Make Sense

There is a lot of faux profundity that Kiefer must spout, and that's egregious enough, but when he tells us that Crawford's character hates pretty boys and models, one must cough and say, "Oh really?"

The Amount of Years Since Joel Schumacher's Had a Hit...

...plus two more.

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