Project Runway Recap: Spite at the Museum

"Designers!" he proclaims. "This is the Met's Charles Engelhard Court, or, specifically, the curatorial department of the Costume Institute. People born before 1992 think it's incredible. God help us with this group." Seth Aaron nods in agreement and solemnly recalls where he was when Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated.

Tim explains that the gallery of haute couture features work by Cristobal Balenciaga, Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent, and other people Grace Kelly had the worst lunches of her life with. The challenge is to partner up with a fellow designer (yikes) and create a look that could stand alongside these classic pieces. The minions have two days and a budget of $500, which is a Project Runway record-high. The agonizingly boring selection process produces the following pairings: Jesus and Amy, Anthony and Seth Aaron, Jay and Maya, Ben and Janeane, Mila and Jonathan, Emilio and Anna, and JESSE AND PING. Oh, no. Kraftwerk and craftwork never go together.

In the workroom, people like Maya, Ben, Janeane, Anna, Emilio, and Jay mutter about each other and dream of being a bigger part of this recap. This is where their dream ends. Meanwhile, Anthony and Seth Aaron aren't exactly meshing; Anthony is discouraged because their haute-couture garment is red, yellow, and black. "So far this is for the V.P. at McDonald's," he says, because he is fucking awesome. Mila and Jonathan cruise along in their journey to fulfill Mila's vision of a caped tracksuit. Jesse and Ping, meanwhile, are the stars of this shitshowzen, clawing at each other about leadership and integrity and ideas and the Autobahn.

Ping: He is difficult to work with! He's insecure with my approach. I'm less conventional than he is. I float instead of walk. Magic! Zow!

Jesse: She changes her ideas constantly! I'm always reining in her 'crazy.' And her, because she floats instead of walks.

Tim rejoins the group, and for a split second we think he's going to do his "Ping! Lovely to see you! Let's assess where your garment is offensive" thing, but no. He's here to loose a terrible twist. Tim gathers everyone around and says they must create a second look for $50 based on another team's work. This is hell for the designers, sure, but it's mostly hell for the home viewer. It's lot of dresses and inspirations and unconnected dots to keep in order. Bunim-Murray overestimates our intelligence, for once.

At any rate, only the Jesse/Ping and Seth Aaron/Anthony teams seem thrown by the additional garment. When Ping bought the material for her second look, she happily schlepped it back to Jesse, who took one look at the shiny, silver fabric and deemed it "cheap hooker fabric." Now, Ping is not exactly easy to work with, but Jesse's rage seems convulsive and a little petty. A juice box is in order here, perhaps for both teammates. Jesse's last plea to the camera is, "It sucks to shoot that low, but 'safe' is all I want."

Seth Aaron and Anthony have the other notable fight, and in front of Tim. Anthony bashes Seth Aaron for abandoning one of their garments and then tells us, "I knew that slapping the hell out of Seth Aaron was not the best way to get the greatest result." Yeah, but neither is assembling the gold and black fabric the way he did, in a look that can only be described as "Dame of the Dimestore." No, that is not a touching Rickie Lee Jones single. Oh well. To Heidi's lair, all of you!

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