Project Runway Recap: Recalibrate This, Tim!

Tim then folds all of us into his embroidered handkerchief and carries us to Central Park, where Mood has generously decked a bunch of benches with fabric. Pamela's eyes bounce from bolt to bolt, fabric to fabric, and then to a few buildings with open windows, and then to a safe in a nearby bank, because this woman has thief eyes. Tim instructs the group to gather as many of these fabrics as possible, because their challenge is to construct a garment that best exemplifies their design aesthetic. It's a standard first challenge. Janeane -- talented as she is -- will find a reason to cry over this.

After that runaround, Tim says they can only keep five of their selected fabrics. Ping starts making video game noises and stammers that she's having trouble unwrapping her orangish material from the bolt. A real drama occurs when she unfolds it for two straight minutes. Not kidding. Pamela could've dug a hole in the sidewalk and made a break for the river in that time.

The workroom looks the same as it always did (with some Lifetime-grade pink on the walls, for added insanity). In a fun new twist, the designers now have electronic sketchpads at their disposal instead of the usual notebooks. This way, if you want to build a Powerpoint presentation of your designs and cue it up with sound effects for a speech you're making to a third-grade computer class, that is possible. Seth Aaron tries calling his great-grandkids to help him set up the "drawin' machine," but his teensy jacket paralyzes his arms for good. The designers take advantage of the new toy and hack together shreds until Tim Gunn comes in with some bad news: 1) Jesus's croc-print leather dress has a weird seam running across the lap, and Tim calls it "disturbing." 2) Janeane is forced to reconsider her whole design after Tim stutters "Clean it up!" in her face. At this point in the show she is crying to keep from crying. 3) Ping is trying on her giant "innovative pants" and strappy cape top, and Tim wonders if she forfeits objectivity by wearing the clothes herself. Ping responds with her standard sequence of onomatopoeic squeaks.

Instead of saying, "Make it work," Tim unleashes this cryptogram: "Recalibrate your ambitions according to the timeframe!" Special! The part of Tim Gunn will now be played by Dr. Edward Nigma. Onto the runway!

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