Jersey Shore Softy Guido Watch: 'What Happens in the AC' and 'One Shot'

This just in: I don't want The Situation or Ronnie to win the Softy anymore. It's too depressing to see trenchant Jersey Shore coverage wasted on these two hedgehogs and their four-dimensional abdominals and rectangle faces (respectively). So we're opening up this week's Softy Guido Award to the ladies, in case they've got anything wussy they want to contribute. We had two big episodes of Jersey Shore last night (or J-Sho, as preteens call it... or JSHOWW, as I will now call it.) Will we see a guidette victory after the jump?

Winner: JWOWW

If anyone needs sucker-punching, it's The Situation. And JWOWW should be the one to administer the blow. But in this case, with Vinny holding back JWOWW and asking her if she's about to deliver a haymaker, and JWOWW feigning diplomacy -- it's just not how it should've gone down. I understand that Le Sitch's apathy towards her gastrointestinal snafu at the club led to her getting tossed out. But punching the discolored humanoid in haste, while precious Vinny trembles, is beneath our gravel-voiced angel. So, unfortunately, I award the Softy Guido Award to JWOWW, for forsaking her often ethical fighting strategies and opting to just wail on "Mike." Pro tip for JWOWW: Formally challenge him to a fist-related duel next time. If all goes well, and the punches sail correctly into the air, the Headliners beat will resume.