Movieline Counterpoint: Jay Leno Issues Own Open Letter About ConanGate!
Sensing that he's losing the late-night PR war -- somehow, disingenuously joking about being "fired" by NBC when he stood to possibly regain both his old time-slot and Tonight Show desk hasn't won many converts to his side -- Jay Leno today responded to Conan O'Brien's withering, fist-pumpingly received open letter to the People of Earth, hoping to persuade O'Brien partisans to cast aside their ginger-tinged bouffants of support in favor of a Team Leno chin-prosthetic. For reasons we can't fully comprehend (did he sense a slight crack in our resolve?), Leno issued his statement exclusively!* to Movieline, which you can read in full after the jump:
*Please put on your 3-D glasses now and enjoy another fully immersive Movieline Fakery Experience™.
People of Earth (Especially Those Between The Ages Of 35-65),
In the last few days, my phone hasn't been ringing nearly as often as I'd hoped it might with sympathy calls, so I wanted to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me, even though they're yanking me out of my cherished 10 pm time-slot and putting me back in late-night, completely against my will. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love fourth-most, after doing Vegas shows, trying out new material in Hermosa Beach and rebuilding the engines of vintage Fiats with parts I fabricate in my awesome 3-D printer. And in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky to Jaywalk through so many high-rated, first-place (did I mention I beat Letterman for a decade and a half yet? Oh, I didn't?) years. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses demanded an immediate decision, which I made on the spot, because hey, I've always been nothing but a team player.