2010 People's Choice Awards: Everybody Wins! (Literally)

The good news about last night's People's Choice Awards was that Hollywood finally gave us an awards show without the yawning inevitability of a Hurt Locker sweep. The downside was the piercing wail that accompanied Twilight's own multitude of honors, including Favorite Movie, Favorite Franchise, Favorite Breakout Movie Actor and "Favorite Onscreen Team," lest anyone from the swoony, misty community of Forks feel snubbed. Democracy lives! In a coma and on a ventilator, of course, but it's better than nothing. Brief observations and a full list of winners -- lots and lots of winners -- follow the jump.

It seems to me that Taylor Lautner should have been ineligible for Favorite Breakout Movie Actor, if only because his earlier starring work in Tasmainian Lautner has been disseminated to within an inch of its stick-swinging life -- not to mention that a country so rabidly Team Jacob seems counterintuitive and, well, just flat-out immoral. Moreover, Miley Cyrus is the people's Favorite Breakout Movie Actress? What movie was Miley Cyrus even in? Please get to the bottom of this, Steve Pond!

Let's see, what else... Sandra Bullock's Favorite Movie Actress prize boosted her Oscar chances by about 0 percent... Inglorious Basterds, co-financed by The Weinstein Company and Universal Pictures, is suddenly an "independent movie" (and if the people said it, it must be right)... Voters rejected Katherine Heigl's appeal to bow out of the running for Favorite TV Drama Actress on account of lousy Gray's Anatomy writing... The organizers squeezed True Blood in as Favorite TV Obsession... Ashton Kutcher took home the Best Web Celeb prize, which suggests someone isn't working enough... The Dog Whisperer won something called Best Animal Show, presumably setting up a major showdown in 2011 with Jersey Shore... and on... and on.

As always, congratulations to all. Enjoy your crystal hardware.

Favorite Movie: Twilight

Favorite On-Screen Team: The Twilight Saga

Favorite Franchise: The Twilight Saga

Favorite Breakout Movie Actor: Taylor Lautner

Favorite Movie Actress: Sandra Bullock

Favorite Comedy Movie: The Proposal

Favorite Independent Movie: Inglourious Basterds

Favorite Action Star: Hugh Jackman

Favorite Comedic Star: Jim Carrey

Favorite Breakout Movie Actress: Miley Cyrus

Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp

Favorite Family Movie: Up

Favorite TV Drama Actor: Hugh Laurie

Favorite TV Drama: House

Favorite TV Comedy: The Big Bang Theory

Favorite TV Drama Actress: Katherine Heigl

Favorite TV Comedy Actor: Steve Carell

Favorite TV Comedy Actress: Alyson Hannigan

Favorite TV Obsession: True Blood

Favorite Talk Show: The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Show: Supernatural

Favorite Competition Show: American Idol

Favorite Animal Show: Dog Whisperer

Favorite New TV Drama: The Vampire Diaries

Favorite New TV Comedy: Glee

Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift

Favorite Country Artist: Carrie Underwood

Favorite Male Artist: Keith Urban

Favorite Breakout Music Artist: Lady Gaga

Favorite Hip-Hop Artist: Eminem

Favorite Rock Band: Paramore

Favorite Music Collaboration: "Run This Town," Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West

Favorite R&B Artist: Mariah Carey

Favorite Pop Artist: Lady Gaga

Favorite Web Celeb: Ashton Kutcher

· People's Choice Awards