Spider-Man 4: The Last Set Of Script Notes

Yesterday, news broke that the start date for Spider-Man 4, which Sony had hoped would be spinning webs of box-office gold in early May 2011, was being delayed due to script problems, threatening to push the blockbuster off its summer-kickoff release date. Even though it's recently been proven that having a polished script before charging headlong into production isn't a necessity -- Transformers 2's Michael Bay famously overcame the obstacle of the writers' strike by locking two non-union assistants in a hotel suite for a week to work through the story by hurling trash cans, silverware, and broken kitchen appliances at each other while wearing Hasbro Optimus Prime Voice-Changer Helmets -- Sony has apparently chosen the cautious route by waiting until the screenplay is whipped into shooting shape. And it's probably a wise decision: Movieline has exclusively obtained the final set of Spidey 4 script notes from the studio, which reveal potentially franchise-damaging problems too massive to overcome on-set. See the most shocking excerpts from the leaked notes after the jump:

spiderman.jpg

From: Amy Pascal [address redacted]

To: Sam Raimi [address redacted]

Date: 04 Jan 2010 11:49:04 am

RE: Final notes -- we need to talk

Sam--

As per our last convo, sending a copy of our latest round of script notes. I know you aren't happy. And gotta say, I'm far from happy. Utter mess. Looks like we might have to junk the whole thing, but curious to get yr thoughts before we send them on...

--AP

STUDIO NOTES SM4 01/02/10 DRAFT

pg 1. Still not convinced opening with a musical number is the way to go. But I know that SR loved the musical Peter Parker bit in SM3 and thinks that starting on one here makes the bus hijacking by the terrorist (Hungarian! not Al Qaeda, too sensitive!) a real sucker-punch. The execution isn't there. "Walkin' On Sunshine," really? If we're gonna do it, we can do better. Taylor Swift better. Let me worry about the licensing.

***

pg 12. Having J.Jonah scream that Peter should "go start a blog" if he doesn't like the low price for his photos feels stale. Consider "go tweet a Twitter." Dbl check, but I think that's what they say.

***

pg. 25. Have we not explored "accidental web-slinging as obvious premature ejac" metaphor enough in three movies? Feeling a bit hack now. Esp when Aunt May walks in on him watching the YouTube clip of the Vulture attack. We get it, web = semen. Wrists = penises. Aunt = Oedipal mother figure. Ick. Not even sexy.

***

pg. 37 PG-13! PG-13! No nudity! Where is this coming from? And full-frontal? Maguire has total nevernude rider, he's not even working out this time (he's really porked up since starving himself for Brothers), we're CGI on everything below first chin. Definitely definitely no d*ck. CAA will f'cking kill me if they even ever see this page. TEAR OUT AND BURN.

***

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Comments

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    There's no way these are real, right?
    Those were the comments a 10th grade english teacher would give to the writer of the school play.

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    so believable, it's terrifying

  • Mario says:

    Duuude...

  • nick says:

    the notes might be real, but if they do a vulture they sould go with the old school theme from the cartoon series, green armor with wing under the arms, but a newer style. and leave the saying,"with great power comes great responsibilty".do not change it. it works so leave it. dont make jamason say that twitter thing, thats stupid, wont be funny. brainstorming ideas, whatce the cartoon series and get some ideas and make it better, you have the money to do that.

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