What's On: The Brood Wife


The Good Wife heats up today with a sinister twist, and So You Think You Dance winds down with the first part of its finale. Be prepared for Better Off Ted to get even better, and make sure you seek out Joe Pesci on ABC Family, where he gives the performance of a lifetime as a wise-cracking thief who tries to murder an 11-year-old, all in the name of the holiday spirit.

So You Think You Can Dance [Fox, 8 PM]

The final six competitors perform, and we're just a day away from Adam Lambert and Jennifer Lopez's performances during Wednesday's finale! In a special tribute to the AMAs, the two will receive oral sex and fall down for almost 5 minutes. Mary Murphy may buy the duo tickets on the Hot Tamale Train, and censors don't yet know if the Hot Tamale Conductor will approve. To be continued.

The Good Wife [CBS, 10 PM]

Alicia (Julianna Margulies) can't catch a break with a shifty judge, who rejects her simple plea bargain. Meanwhile, Diane (Christine Baranski) fields an incredible offer. Can you imagine the amount of professional-lady-smirks in this episode? Alicia's scowling at Your Honor like Charles Laughton, Diane's sneering at underlings like an old basenji, everyone needs a drink, and I need to DVR it because I can't handle the mania at this hour.

Better Off Ted [ABC, 9:30]

Linda (Andrea Anders) sells her first children's book, which should excite the children's book industry because Linda is not Madonna. Rose (Isabella Acres) has info about company layoffs, and Lem (Malcolm Barrett) ventures into an affair with a company lawyer. Movieline mea culpa: This show is good, and we should talk about it more. Portia de Rossi's Veronica is a knockout, and someday we should stage a battle of the hot Veronicas with Taylor Schilling.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York [ABC Family, 8:30 PM]

This blockbuster sequel features so many instances of holiday magic. Let us count them: 1) Where did Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) find the Crayola Washables with which he sketched his elaborate booby-trap system? I'd chalk it up to holiday magic. 2) How did Academy Award-winner Brenda Fricker wind up in this? See above. 3) How does Tim Curry turn even the hotel clerk role into a puckish good time? And 4) Why doesn't Kevin realize that turtle doves are a shitty gift? He is cunning otherwise. Chris Columbus's credibility is the wettest bandit of all.

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