What's On: 'Find the Hottest Guido'

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"Your mission tonight is to find the hottest Guido and take him home," says one Jersey Shore vacationer in tonight's premiere of the MTV reality series that has already angered one Italian-American group. But with nicknames like J-Wow and The Situation, and earnest declarations like, "I'm a bartender, I do great things," you might want to give this retro-evolutionary series a try before banning MTV from your household.

Jersey Shore [10 PM, MTV]

MTV was onto something back in 2002 when they followed a gelled, Staten Island fellow named Charlie around as he planned his nuptials to Sabrina, his surgically enhanced bride-to-be. Their episode of True Life: I'm Getting Married became an instant classic when he blew his casket while waiting for a limo driver. Tanned to the tens and wearing his wedding whites, Charlie threatened to "hunt [him] down and gut him like f*cking cattle". That battle cry inspired a generation of self-described "Guidos" to spend a summer in a Seaside Heights, N.J. house seven years later with MTV cameras in tow. One only hopes that the cab driver is 15 minutes late picking up J-Wow from the bar and incurs the same kind of macho, death threats.

30 Rock [9:30 PM, NBC]

After weeks of groundwork, Liz's (Tina Fey) new talk show Dealbreakers finally begins production. But in order for Jack (Alec Baldwin) to ensure that the program is a success, he must tango with nemesis Devin Banks (Will Arnett). Meanwhile, Sherri Shepherd returns as Tracy's (Tracy Morgan) tortured wife, who watches as the comedian tries to ultimately prove his love for her by participating in the ultimate Hollywood challenge.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia [10 PM, FX]

It might not top Kitten Mittens, but in tonight's episode, Mac (Rob McElhenney) and Charlie (Charlie Day) attempt to write a movie script to impress M. Night Shyamalan, who has hired Dee (Kaitlin Olson).

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Little Women [9:15 PM EST/6:15 PM PST, TCM]

Everyone needs a good cry before Christmas and tonight's 1949 adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's classic novel might be the tearjerker with Oscar-winning art direction that could just bring you down from last night's Lawman adrenaline high last night. Margaret O'Brien stars as Beth, Elizabeth Taylor as Amy, June Allyson as Jo and Janet Leigh as Meg.