5 Things Steven Seagal Taught Us on Lawman


Steven Seagal: Lawman has its detractors (Hello, Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office, and thank you for the comments!), but the new "real-life" A&E cop drama featuring the star of Out for Justice as a zen-mastering Louisiana policeman is watchable, at least. Tracking down baddies with a charging squad and a boom mic remains a recyclable TV feast. But better yet, this series comes packed with plenty of Seagal teachings that deserve a textbook all its own.

1. Three things that indicate you're dealing with a bad guy: "A cock of the head, a foot planted forward or back, a flick of the wrist."

After touting that he "sees things for what they are" as a member of the Jefferson Parish squad, Seagal listed these three indicators as dangerous suspect qualities. Rebuttal: He could just be a novice billiards shooter, Steven.

2. Don't fight the recoil of the weapon, but move to become one with the weapon and let it become an extension of your body.

While assisting a less-than-zen patrolman with his marksman skills, Seagal's voice dropped an octave as he relayed these helpful words. Cliched though his lesson sounds, it's also standard: This sentiment is nearly a summation of the classic text Zen and the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel. Coincidentally, the same book is used to teach fundamental acting techniques -- the ones thoroughly avoided in Executive Decision.

3. A 270-caliber is a very, very fast round. Goes through most vests. It's a big enemy of the police.

Noted! Our hero plucked one of these gold bullets from a man tracked down in a gigantic, 946-car bust.

4. [Holding a mask taken from a suspect] This is a marking of someone who's fixing to do bad things.

Or the marking of someone who wants to play "masquerade billiards," Steven! My days as an English snooker hound are coming back to me.

5. Martial arts masters are trained to remain calm in the face of adversity and diversity.

Another almost-direct quote. While I'm sure this is true, perhaps the wording here could've been better. I'm picturing "diversity" as my seventh-grade health book seemed to define it: black people, the elderly and amputees. Now every time I watch The Glimmer Man, I'll think of how calm Steve looks around Keenan Ivory-Wayans.


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