What's On: Lo, We Barely Knew Ye

The Pynchonian texts that are The Hills and The City finish their seasons tonight, and for the few MTV viewers without degrees in Comparative Literature or Postmodern Critical Theory, the music channel will help explicate all the moments you might have missed with a live special afterward. Hopefully, the program will include teary goodbyes with Lo and Audrina and a highlight reel of their finest moments over the years.

Cast Confessions: From the Hills to the City [9 PM, MTV]

At 9 PM, Levy and Jessi Cruickshank from the Canadian series The After Show will prime you for the season finales with a tell-all special featuring the entire Hills and City casts, who are as we speak, prisoners inside MTV's New York studio. After you watch the actual finales, stay tuned at 11 PM so that Levy and Cruickshank can counsel you through your heartbreak and moderate a live interview segment, which will surely be the only Hills footage left unmanipulated this season.

Britain's Missing Top Model [9 PM, BBC America]

For those lucky cable box homes, the BBC premieres a new series tonight about aspiring models with various disabilities. That's right, an America's Next Top Model, except it's set across the Atlantic and stars some of the beautiful young women turned away by Tyra's casting crews because of the way they walk, like Jenny, who was injured in a car accident. One of the eight gorgeous women will win a modeling contract and a spread with Marie Claire at the end of the season.

So You Think You Can Dance [8:30 PM, Fox]

Now that Donny Osmond has landed his coveted Dancing With the Stars mirror ball trophy, we can turn to Fox's dance show. Or if you're Jennifer Lopez, you've been watching all this time. In tonight's mammoth 150 minute episode (conveniently pushed back for President Barack Obama's address), the top 10 dancers compete. The results will be presented tomorrow night.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation [8 PM, AMC]

So angry that President Obama bumped A Charlie Brown Christmas that you're feeling fragile enough to subject yourself to the least satisfying, yet most Christmas-y, installment of the National Lampoon's Vacation series? AMC has just the film for you. Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo star as the Griswold parents while Juliette Lewis and Johnny Galecki take on the hot potato roles of Audrey and Rusty.