What's On: Deck the Halls with Lewis Black

If the thought of sharing your thanks over dry turkey and soggy pie this Thursday fills you with nausea, tune in to the History Channel's Surviving the Holidays with Lewis Black for a dose of seasonal pessimism. The curmudgeonly comedian will rant about the "month-long festival of consumption", angrily deliver a history of the holidays and then spend the rest of the two hours interviewing turkeys on a turkey farm, posing as a department store Santa and reporting on dreidel play-offs. Even though this show sounds like it will avoid History Channel topics like the rise of Hitler and World War II, something tells me they'll manage to sneak in some archived footage of the Battle of the Ardennes into the program.

Surviving the Holidays with Lewis Black [8 PM, History]

If tonight's show is successful, look forward to the History Channel building a franchise around acerbic comedians ranting about the ridiculousness of holidays with Enduring Easter with Bill Maher and Persevering Passover with Susie Essman. For now, you'll have to just make due with the Grammy winner riffing on Kwanzaa, Chanukah and the real Saint Nicholas with the help of historians and a few comedian friends -- Joy Behar, Bob Saget, David Alan Grier and Craig Ferguson.

Find My Family [9:30 PM, ABC]

A new ABC series guaranteed to exercise your tear ducts premieres tonight, in which families are reconnected with long-lost loved ones. The program only added to the network's schedule last week and is based on an Australian reality series. The show serves as a private investigator, hunting down estranged family members (mostly adoptees), leaving enough time for an uber-emotional reunion. Hosts Tim Green and Lisa Joyner are both adoptees, and if you can watch Mr. Green exclaim, "I think every adopted person's dream is to be found," without gagging, then this might be the show for you.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 [9 PM, TLC]

Really, does it have to end like this? Five long years after the Gosselins filled your living room with the sound of marital bickering and ear drum bursting crying, Jon & Kate Plus 8 as we knew it, comes to an end. Tonight, the family return to their production-funded field trip roots with visits to the dairy farm and the fire station. After last week's post-production hatchet job on Jon, don't expect Jon to be given a fair shake in his last TLC appearance.

Margot at the Wedding [8 PM, TMC]

Before penning Fantastic Mr. Fox, Noah Baumbach explored sisterly rivalry with his 2007 film, Margot at the Wedding. Starring Nicole Kidman and Baumbach's wife, Jennifer Jason Leigh, the sisters try to navigate a family wedding but end up unraveling when their family secrets are revealed. In a surprisingly pleasant change of pace, Jack Black plays Leigh's subdued fiance.