What's On: A Lemon Turned Green
I wish "The More You Know" advertisements could take the place of network TV's current fixation with making programming so Channel One-friendly. Really, NBC? Five shows this week include pro-green messages? Sick. Luckily, 30 Rock has figured out what we need in order to stomach so much overlord-ordained environmentalism: Celebrity cameos! You get down with those acting skills, Oscar-winner Al Gore.
30 Rock [9:30 PM, NBC]
Liz Lemon's domestic situation comes in and out of focus on 30 Rock (Maybe she'll get around to adopting that kid soon?), but tonight we're treated to a household crisis. Her apartment complex is turned into condominiums, and that makes her extra-harried for when she runs into Al Gore, who makes his second appearance on the show tonight during its environmentally friendly episode. No word yet on Greenzo's availability.
Project Runway [10 PM, Lifetime]
Heidi Klum, Michael Kors, and Nina Garcia agree to inhabit the same room for 15 minutes tonight to judge the three remaining contestants' final collections at Bryant Park. So, who's our winner? While Althea will inevitably stack her hair to winning heights, our resident Runway expert thinks Irina's cathedral in St. Petersburg will ring victory bells come tomorrow morning. (I know she's from the Republic of Georgia, leave it alone.)
Vampire Diaries [8 PM, CW]
Now that you've been formally acquainted with the witches of Vampire Diaries, you can fully enjoy this dramatic hour, the series's last new episode until January. In "The Turning Point," Damon learns unsettling things about the city's founders and Jeremy resumes a mysterious drawing hobby. Nothing says creepy like a man who actually has sketches to show you.
Jackass: The Movie [9 PM, MTV]
And now, the three greatest pairs of star-crossed lovers for all time: Romeo and Juliet. Tristan and Isolde. Staple gun and scrotum. I can't find much iambic pentameter about the third subject, but I can guarantee that tonight's showing of the 2002 film (Who's old suddenly? I am.) will reacquaint you with your untapped genius for shopping cart-related schemes.