Project Runway Recap: There Will Be Barf

Next Tim visits Irina.

Tim: Irina!

Irina: Tim! I won!

Tim: No, not yet! Wait until next week.

Irina: I forgot. Come on in.

Tim: Sweet digs. I'd attend a key party here. Let's see the winning, er, competing garments.

Irina: I'm inspired by Coney Island, where I grew up. That's where my sisters and I would just be kids and make fun of poor families to their faces. Do you like the Coney Island print I made?

Tim: Irina, you're going to win this season because Carol Hannah and Althea are making their collections out of Glad bags and Crayola Washables. Don't worry. That said, I just got a text from the bureau of Let's-Be-Fucking-Real, and that Coney Island print is totally stolen. You can't use it in your collection.

Irina: Boo! Superiority makes one forget the law. Oh well. Let's meet my identical family members.

Tim: Hot.

That goes well. Lastly, Tim meets Althea in her hometown of Dayton, OH, where things get really jacked up.

Althea: Tim! I am inspired by sci-fi movies for some reason. And what does a proper sci-fi heroine need? You guessed it, a pencil skirt and a blazer. Tah-dah. What do you think?

Tim: Is the science fiction that someone would buy these? Eerie. May as well have Nicolas make us a collection with his beaming-down-Bai-Ling ideas. See that purple thing you made? That can't walk the runway, Althea. And those over there? Basic. You need to strike a balance between Talbot's and whatever all that Close Encounters shit is. Otherwise, well, I'm getting Irina on the phone, and we're going to call your forehead fat. Actually, we're going to do that even if you produce a cure for cancer. It really doesn't matter.

Althea: OK! That's the objective eye I needed!

Time flashes forward again, and now the designers fly to New York to prepare for the Bryant Park showing. Heidi shows up to announce they have to complete a 13th look, and no one even considers that Heidi might just be a hologram from Season Two. There's a particular I-Hate-Daniel-Franco glint in her stare. Also, Carol Hannah has a terrible stomach ailment, and she throws herself by a toilet for our viewing pleasure. Irina and Althea call each other idea burglars again.

And lastly, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia show up and give the advice these designers really need.

Michael: Irina, Althea, Carol Hannah. Do something exciting for once. Give us a range.

Nina: Try. Or something. I don't know. Actually, keep in touch with the producers. No one will hear from you again if you don't get a spin-off series.

Michael: Seriously. Even Christian's licking the Bunim-Murray power taint.

Nina: Do we make ourselves clear?

Irina: Yes! Victory is mine!

Carol Hannah: Yes! Victory is Irina's.

Althea: Yes. And now to receive more inspiration. Emperor, transport me! Glorb glorb! [Zaps to other planet.]

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